“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

First of all, Ruburt has as you know an excellent intellect. It is not as well developed however as he supposes. He could do far more with it. Now he emphasizes its strictly analytical nature, and in so doing puts limitations upon the ways in which he uses it.

Now to some extent when that began, you acquiesced. For while you were adventurous, you also to some extent feared the spontaneous nature that was so a part of your wife, in those terms. A small somewhat amusing note: whenever, throughout your marriage, you commented adversely when Ruburt was about to throw a scarf about his neck, or perhaps wear an extra chain with others, he interpreted this, and quite correctly, as a hint of caution on your part that he was giving too much prevalence to the feminine love of ornamentation.

The male characteristics he always thought of as stabilizing. The intellect and the tailored clothes went together. The quick motions were always associated with inner intuitive feminine abilities. The symptoms have in part been meant to reassure you that you need not be afraid that he would be driven by his impulses. In the beginning of the psychic work you were concerned at spontaneous sessions, and while you were highly intrigued by the developments. There was one situation in particular that frightened you both—the time that Ruburt ended up on the floor when he picked up the information from your neighbor, Barbara.

To some extent illness has been used by you both in a constructive manner. On your part (RFB) initially as a very definite warning that you were not to put your full energies into a job. Pressure from your parents could have precipitated such an arrangement. Your illness was then used by Ruburt to bring to the surface of his mind deeply-rooted fears that had been festering beneath. Your illness served this purpose for you also. This further led to a recognition of the basic uselessness of many of the ideas upon which your existences had been based, and upon which your society was based. This triggered the need to find newer answers and to probe into other dimensions.

The relative (underline that twice) exile of Ruburt’s symbolically feminine characteristics is something that neither of you consciously realized. You did this to assure yourselves that these abilities, feminine in both of your minds, would not so get the upper hand that the responsible, and in both of your minds, masculine or dependable aspects of your life would be threatened.

All of the time of course these feminine aspects were being used as the intuitive, mystical thresholds of psychic activity. I told you once that Ruburt would not have allowed a feminine counterpart of myself to speak, but neither would you have. You would have been afraid of the “unpredictable” in quotes feminine aspects.

You could see Ruburt’s errors in this respect to some extent, but you could not see your own. Your feelings then helped feed Ruburt’s own misconceptions. You also felt safe when he did not move so fast, when his slower mobility seemed to denote greater deliberation, when in other words he did not let himself go.

Now rest your fingers. I will leave Ruburt as he is. I would have him let this one in.

Your allowing the longer hair is a sign that of late you have become less frightened of the symbolically creative and feminine aspects of the artist. Your refusal in the past to look the part of an artist, per se, reflected your determination to insist upon, to you, the contrasting masculine aspects. As you allowed yourself somewhat more freedom in this regard, you both saw to it that in compensation Ruburt in his appearance allowed himself less.

Ruburt on the other hand felt he could use psychic books as a means of livelihood, for in the books at least he felt the masculine and female tendencies merge; the intellect making use of the intuitive information.