“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

One of the reasons why he did not understand that the spontaneous intuitive self was the deeply creative and therefore deeply stable self, was that he identified it with his idea of femininity as he unfortunately misunderstood it. It was therefore second best, undependable, and could lead to byways that were not respectable. He never equated money with respectability or prestige. As a youngster he had no family background or money, and his need to be looked up to and held in esteem could not wait.

He feels also that this image suits your ideas, as indeed it does to a large degree. This also has something to do with your private lives, for the feminine portions of that nature can quite easily be frightened into not showing themselves through the monthly function—that is so utterly spontaneous, so mysterious to the intellect, and the one main sign by which the female monthly shows her difference from the male.

The male characteristics he always thought of as stabilizing. The intellect and the tailored clothes went together. The quick motions were always associated with inner intuitive feminine abilities. The symptoms have in part been meant to reassure you that you need not be afraid that he would be driven by his impulses. In the beginning of the psychic work you were concerned at spontaneous sessions, and while you were highly intrigued by the developments. There was one situation in particular that frightened you both—the time that Ruburt ended up on the floor when he picked up the information from your neighbor, Barbara.

The tests with Instream, and your own, precipitated a situation in which his intellect was constantly checking his intuitive information. Because of his own background this precipitated a situation in which one portion of the self was constantly scrutinizing another portion with a jaundiced eye.

Now all of this is highly important. To some extent it was inevitable, considering your backgrounds. The feminine aspects in any case, culturally speaking, were being denied since you did not want children. Reincarnationally this you set ahead of time. If the psychic developments that represented your greatest fulfillment, with all their ramifications in your art and life, had not occurred, then you would have had two children, and continued a reincarnational cycle. There are other aspects here, in that in your last reincarnational life you had somewhat greater freedom within the sexual framework. You can come closer to the ideal identity that gives greater rein within one individual to both male and female characteristics.

When the sexual identity is sound, as it is in both of your cases, this means the need for a greater accommodation within the self. A tolerant attitude, an exuberance and freedom, so that the best qualities of each sex can be harmoniously blended while the personality still retains its necessary overall one-sex identification physically.

Now rest your fingers. I will leave Ruburt as he is. I would have him let this one in.

Now. As noted much of this has to do with the fact that in your last reincarnation both the masculine and the feminine aspects of personality are to be as fully experienced as possible, while the overall present one-sex identification is to be maintained.

This permits the fullest expression of true identity that is possible within the physical system. Otherwise identity is smothered to a large degree beneath a strictly oriented one-sex identification, with other characteristics masked and denied expression.

All of this stems, again, from your misconception of the nature of the creative self. Now logically it may not be stable in intellectual terms, for it knows that one and one do not always give you two, but its great stability lies in its flexibility, its intuitions, and in its unending source of creativity.

In your relationship as a couple then you set up a framework in which freedoms allowed to one were compensated until certain adjustments were made. The creative aspects were given so much leeway, until out of fear one of you applied restraints of a restrictive nature. The painting to you had such strongly feminine connotations that subconsciously you felt your studio was like a womb, out of which the paintings were produced. You felt that this had some (underlined) terrifying implications, many of them threatening your sense of masculinity since, because of your misconceptions you were convinced ahead of time that they would never be used as a means of livelihood.