“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

First of all, Ruburt has as you know an excellent intellect. It is not as well developed however as he supposes. He could do far more with it. Now he emphasizes its strictly analytical nature, and in so doing puts limitations upon the ways in which he uses it.

The psychic work meant that these would be united. There was strain, as could have been expected. Intuitively and as a woman he would naturally have longer hair, wear earrings and jangly jewelry, which fits the inner feminine image, and also the inner mystical, psychic image of the seeress, the prophetess, and in your own relationship, the mistress.

In appearing on television he wore initially the pants suit to stress the masculine aspects, or tailored clothes, each stressing to him the more masculine, intellectual, respectable qualities of his nature. He is saying, you see, “I am quite normal, quite intellectual, and in my way quite responsible and proper. Do not be alarmed by my wild mystical self, for it is well under control.”

He feels also that this image suits your ideas, as indeed it does to a large degree. This also has something to do with your private lives, for the feminine portions of that nature can quite easily be frightened into not showing themselves through the monthly function—that is so utterly spontaneous, so mysterious to the intellect, and the one main sign by which the female monthly shows her difference from the male.

Now to some extent when that began, you acquiesced. For while you were adventurous, you also to some extent feared the spontaneous nature that was so a part of your wife, in those terms. A small somewhat amusing note: whenever, throughout your marriage, you commented adversely when Ruburt was about to throw a scarf about his neck, or perhaps wear an extra chain with others, he interpreted this, and quite correctly, as a hint of caution on your part that he was giving too much prevalence to the feminine love of ornamentation.

So all in all, with the problems, you have managed well. This fits in with your own artistic nature, and with your background in this life. You also identified your creativity with female characteristics or abilities, symbolically speaking, and this has something to do with your distrust of making money with your art.

Now commercial work and the comics meant something else again. It was not fine art but directed outward in obvious fashions in an aggressive sort of thrust, with a particular market in mind, and therefore to you had a masculine quality. You were perfectly free to support yourself in your early years in that way, and your energy was released because in that regard you felt free to use it. When the natural freely creative energies were aroused in you, you instantly dispensed with all ideas of a commercial market, and completely divorced the idea of painting from selling for the reasons given.

All of this stems, again, from your misconception of the nature of the creative self. Now logically it may not be stable in intellectual terms, for it knows that one and one do not always give you two, but its great stability lies in its flexibility, its intuitions, and in its unending source of creativity.

In your relationship as a couple then you set up a framework in which freedoms allowed to one were compensated until certain adjustments were made. The creative aspects were given so much leeway, until out of fear one of you applied restraints of a restrictive nature. The painting to you had such strongly feminine connotations that subconsciously you felt your studio was like a womb, out of which the paintings were produced. You felt that this had some (underlined) terrifying implications, many of them threatening your sense of masculinity since, because of your misconceptions you were convinced ahead of time that they would never be used as a means of livelihood.