“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He set himself up then as an intellectual, and this became his badge of respectability. It also held a more masculine than feminine image in his mind however, for the reasons as given.

Now. In his restrained motion he has to some extent (underlined) adopted what he feels to be the more proper, deliberate responsible characteristics connected in his mind with the symbolically masculine, analytical intellectual.

To some extent illness has been used by you both in a constructive manner. On your part (RFB) initially as a very definite warning that you were not to put your full energies into a job. Pressure from your parents could have precipitated such an arrangement. Your illness was then used by Ruburt to bring to the surface of his mind deeply-rooted fears that had been festering beneath. Your illness served this purpose for you also. This further led to a recognition of the basic uselessness of many of the ideas upon which your existences had been based, and upon which your society was based. This triggered the need to find newer answers and to probe into other dimensions.

The relative (underline that twice) exile of Ruburt’s symbolically feminine characteristics is something that neither of you consciously realized. You did this to assure yourselves that these abilities, feminine in both of your minds, would not so get the upper hand that the responsible, and in both of your minds, masculine or dependable aspects of your life would be threatened.

In your mind making money is a male characteristic, and subconsciously a male prerogative. The fact that you painted and it did not seem to bring you money served further to make you distrust these creative abilities. You identified them to some extent with your mother, the first female of course in your background. She was unpredictable, and so you felt you could not depend upon your art, nor count upon it as a man. (Much louder.)

Now commercial work and the comics meant something else again. It was not fine art but directed outward in obvious fashions in an aggressive sort of thrust, with a particular market in mind, and therefore to you had a masculine quality. You were perfectly free to support yourself in your early years in that way, and your energy was released because in that regard you felt free to use it. When the natural freely creative energies were aroused in you, you instantly dispensed with all ideas of a commercial market, and completely divorced the idea of painting from selling for the reasons given.