“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The intuitive portions of himself he has always considered as feminine. The intellectual capacities he always considered masculine. He relied upon the intellectual abilities therefore as the stronger, because in his own background he believed the male to have the greater strength.

He set himself up then as an intellectual, and this became his badge of respectability. It also held a more masculine than feminine image in his mind however, for the reasons as given.

You, being a male, he felt, would be most alarmed at any undue emotionalisms. This aside from your own reaction to your mother’s emotionalism. So there was a good division set up between his intellectual-respectable-to-him masculine aspects, and his intuitive, feminine, private aspects.

In appearing on television he wore initially the pants suit to stress the masculine aspects, or tailored clothes, each stressing to him the more masculine, intellectual, respectable qualities of his nature. He is saying, you see, “I am quite normal, quite intellectual, and in my way quite responsible and proper. Do not be alarmed by my wild mystical self, for it is well under control.”

Now. In his restrained motion he has to some extent (underlined) adopted what he feels to be the more proper, deliberate responsible characteristics connected in his mind with the symbolically masculine, analytical intellectual.

The relative (underline that twice) exile of Ruburt’s symbolically feminine characteristics is something that neither of you consciously realized. You did this to assure yourselves that these abilities, feminine in both of your minds, would not so get the upper hand that the responsible, and in both of your minds, masculine or dependable aspects of your life would be threatened.

Now commercial work and the comics meant something else again. It was not fine art but directed outward in obvious fashions in an aggressive sort of thrust, with a particular market in mind, and therefore to you had a masculine quality. You were perfectly free to support yourself in your early years in that way, and your energy was released because in that regard you felt free to use it. When the natural freely creative energies were aroused in you, you instantly dispensed with all ideas of a commercial market, and completely divorced the idea of painting from selling for the reasons given.

Now. As noted much of this has to do with the fact that in your last reincarnation both the masculine and the feminine aspects of personality are to be as fully experienced as possible, while the overall present one-sex identification is to be maintained.

Your allowing the longer hair is a sign that of late you have become less frightened of the symbolically creative and feminine aspects of the artist. Your refusal in the past to look the part of an artist, per se, reflected your determination to insist upon, to you, the contrasting masculine aspects. As you allowed yourself somewhat more freedom in this regard, you both saw to it that in compensation Ruburt in his appearance allowed himself less.

In your relationship as a couple then you set up a framework in which freedoms allowed to one were compensated until certain adjustments were made. The creative aspects were given so much leeway, until out of fear one of you applied restraints of a restrictive nature. The painting to you had such strongly feminine connotations that subconsciously you felt your studio was like a womb, out of which the paintings were produced. You felt that this had some (underlined) terrifying implications, many of them threatening your sense of masculinity since, because of your misconceptions you were convinced ahead of time that they would never be used as a means of livelihood.

Ruburt on the other hand felt he could use psychic books as a means of livelihood, for in the books at least he felt the masculine and female tendencies merge; the intellect making use of the intuitive information.