“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The intuitive portions of himself he has always considered as feminine. The intellectual capacities he always considered masculine. He relied upon the intellectual abilities therefore as the stronger, because in his own background he believed the male to have the greater strength.

You, being a male, he felt, would be most alarmed at any undue emotionalisms. This aside from your own reaction to your mother’s emotionalism. So there was a good division set up between his intellectual-respectable-to-him masculine aspects, and his intuitive, feminine, private aspects.

He feels also that this image suits your ideas, as indeed it does to a large degree. This also has something to do with your private lives, for the feminine portions of that nature can quite easily be frightened into not showing themselves through the monthly function—that is so utterly spontaneous, so mysterious to the intellect, and the one main sign by which the female monthly shows her difference from the male.

The male characteristics he always thought of as stabilizing. The intellect and the tailored clothes went together. The quick motions were always associated with inner intuitive feminine abilities. The symptoms have in part been meant to reassure you that you need not be afraid that he would be driven by his impulses. In the beginning of the psychic work you were concerned at spontaneous sessions, and while you were highly intrigued by the developments. There was one situation in particular that frightened you both—the time that Ruburt ended up on the floor when he picked up the information from your neighbor, Barbara.

Now all of this is highly important. To some extent it was inevitable, considering your backgrounds. The feminine aspects in any case, culturally speaking, were being denied since you did not want children. Reincarnationally this you set ahead of time. If the psychic developments that represented your greatest fulfillment, with all their ramifications in your art and life, had not occurred, then you would have had two children, and continued a reincarnational cycle. There are other aspects here, in that in your last reincarnational life you had somewhat greater freedom within the sexual framework. You can come closer to the ideal identity that gives greater rein within one individual to both male and female characteristics.

In your mind making money is a male characteristic, and subconsciously a male prerogative. The fact that you painted and it did not seem to bring you money served further to make you distrust these creative abilities. You identified them to some extent with your mother, the first female of course in your background. She was unpredictable, and so you felt you could not depend upon your art, nor count upon it as a man. (Much louder.)

(I pointed to a painting I had just finished, of a male looking up and to my left. It had a strong appeal for me, and was almost a monochrome, done in blues and greens. I felt it had some sort of reincarnational meaning for me, but hadn’t yet got around to using the pendulum to see what I could find out on my own.

I can indeed. Now in your paintings, many of them, you merge the male and female characteristics—the feminine compassion and intuition often appearing as it does here in a male face.

You do not paint the faces of females as a rule, because of the ideas of which I have just told you. Whenever you show the so-called feminine qualities of insight or compassion, you show them as appearing in the male profile, where they are seen opaquely and not faced full on. You feel they need the male discipline to give them a suitable framework, and to define them. Without this you feel them threatening. This also has something to do with your feelings toward oils under certain conditions (underlined).

I A N O D I A L A (spelled) is the nearest I can come in translation for the name. You painted her as a male for the reasons given.