“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

First of all, Ruburt has as you know an excellent intellect. It is not as well developed however as he supposes. He could do far more with it. Now he emphasizes its strictly analytical nature, and in so doing puts limitations upon the ways in which he uses it.

He does not allow it the freedom that he should or set it to work for him as completely as he could. Often when he most believes he is being analytically intellectual, he is instead using the intellect in a surface manner to cover rationalizations.

He has as you know excellent intuitive abilities. In the past in his poetry the intuitive abilities were somewhat isolated. The truths that came through could be considered as creative fantasies and therefore did not have to be accepted literally, or accepted by the intellect.

The intuitive portions of himself he has always considered as feminine. The intellectual capacities he always considered masculine. He relied upon the intellectual abilities therefore as the stronger, because in his own background he believed the male to have the greater strength.

Some of this has to do with the cultural climate that colored his attitudes. He puts his intuitions in as intellectual terms as possible. To his way of thinking this gives them greater acceptability, strength and durability. He will not be laughed at as a result.

One of the reasons why he did not understand that the spontaneous intuitive self was the deeply creative and therefore deeply stable self, was that he identified it with his idea of femininity as he unfortunately misunderstood it. It was therefore second best, undependable, and could lead to byways that were not respectable. He never equated money with respectability or prestige. As a youngster he had no family background or money, and his need to be looked up to and held in esteem could not wait.

He set himself up then as an intellectual, and this became his badge of respectability. It also held a more masculine than feminine image in his mind however, for the reasons as given.

He could not deny the intuitive self, so it became the self who wrote poetry. In his environment this however was an intellectual thing to do. The feminine image meant instability, intuitions that could lead into unrespectable by-ways, and emotions that were not intellectually restrained.

You, being a male, he felt, would be most alarmed at any undue emotionalisms. This aside from your own reaction to your mother’s emotionalism. So there was a good division set up between his intellectual-respectable-to-him masculine aspects, and his intuitive, feminine, private aspects.

The psychic work meant that these would be united. There was strain, as could have been expected. Intuitively and as a woman he would naturally have longer hair, wear earrings and jangly jewelry, which fits the inner feminine image, and also the inner mystical, psychic image of the seeress, the prophetess, and in your own relationship, the mistress.

In appearing on television he wore initially the pants suit to stress the masculine aspects, or tailored clothes, each stressing to him the more masculine, intellectual, respectable qualities of his nature. He is saying, you see, “I am quite normal, quite intellectual, and in my way quite responsible and proper. Do not be alarmed by my wild mystical self, for it is well under control.”

He feels also that this image suits your ideas, as indeed it does to a large degree. This also has something to do with your private lives, for the feminine portions of that nature can quite easily be frightened into not showing themselves through the monthly function—that is so utterly spontaneous, so mysterious to the intellect, and the one main sign by which the female monthly shows her difference from the male.

Now to some extent when that began, you acquiesced. For while you were adventurous, you also to some extent feared the spontaneous nature that was so a part of your wife, in those terms. A small somewhat amusing note: whenever, throughout your marriage, you commented adversely when Ruburt was about to throw a scarf about his neck, or perhaps wear an extra chain with others, he interpreted this, and quite correctly, as a hint of caution on your part that he was giving too much prevalence to the feminine love of ornamentation.

Now. In his restrained motion he has to some extent (underlined) adopted what he feels to be the more proper, deliberate responsible characteristics connected in his mind with the symbolically masculine, analytical intellectual.

He is saying “I do not run off half-cocked. I am not feminine, mystical, wild, given to fancies that will take you far from the world you know into unknown territory. I am not the unpredictable and therefore unreliable prophetess or mistress. My slow and deliberate movements should tell you this. They tell me this, and offer me then that security.” Thus he interprets these emotions to himself.

He was afraid that as once he felt he dragged you all over the country, you would fear that he was now dragging you all over the inner universe. The symptoms have therefore been an attempt to equalize an inner situation. Now, they have grown less as he understood the inner situation.

The male characteristics he always thought of as stabilizing. The intellect and the tailored clothes went together. The quick motions were always associated with inner intuitive feminine abilities. The symptoms have in part been meant to reassure you that you need not be afraid that he would be driven by his impulses. In the beginning of the psychic work you were concerned at spontaneous sessions, and while you were highly intrigued by the developments. There was one situation in particular that frightened you both—the time that Ruburt ended up on the floor when he picked up the information from your neighbor, Barbara.

You gave him quite a lecture, but it was nothing like the lecture he gave himself, and it rearoused old fears of giving in spontaneously to impressions or psychic data. He considered this dangerous. He began to watch out that such episodes would nor reoccur, and this was reflected in muscular tenseness.

You could see Ruburt’s errors in this respect to some extent, but you could not see your own. Your feelings then helped feed Ruburt’s own misconceptions. You also felt safe when he did not move so fast, when his slower mobility seemed to denote greater deliberation, when in other words he did not let himself go.

Now rest your fingers. I will leave Ruburt as he is. I would have him let this one in.

Ruburt on the other hand felt he could use psychic books as a means of livelihood, for in the books at least he felt the masculine and female tendencies merge; the intellect making use of the intuitive information.

In withholding his periods he also felt he lessened the pressure upon you, for he gave up the biological badge of femininity, and was saying “You will never have to have a full-time job to support a child.” He knew full well that you didn’t feel you would ever make a living as a fine artist.