“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You gave him quite a lecture, but it was nothing like the lecture he gave himself, and it rearoused old fears of giving in spontaneously to impressions or psychic data. He considered this dangerous. He began to watch out that such episodes would nor reoccur, and this was reflected in muscular tenseness.

Now you may rest your fingers for a moment, but we are going to get all of this information through that we can.

The very experience however, with all of its triumphs and insights had to bring to the foreground personal problems of development that many people simply do not face, or come to grips with. Strains and tensions developed, but in grappling with these and with the physical symptoms, new insights were reached.

All of the time of course these feminine aspects were being used as the intuitive, mystical thresholds of psychic activity. I told you once that Ruburt would not have allowed a feminine counterpart of myself to speak, but neither would you have. You would have been afraid of the “unpredictable” in quotes feminine aspects.

Now commercial work and the comics meant something else again. It was not fine art but directed outward in obvious fashions in an aggressive sort of thrust, with a particular market in mind, and therefore to you had a masculine quality. You were perfectly free to support yourself in your early years in that way, and your energy was released because in that regard you felt free to use it. When the natural freely creative energies were aroused in you, you instantly dispensed with all ideas of a commercial market, and completely divorced the idea of painting from selling for the reasons given.

You could see Ruburt’s errors in this respect to some extent, but you could not see your own. Your feelings then helped feed Ruburt’s own misconceptions. You also felt safe when he did not move so fast, when his slower mobility seemed to denote greater deliberation, when in other words he did not let himself go.

All of this stems, again, from your misconception of the nature of the creative self. Now logically it may not be stable in intellectual terms, for it knows that one and one do not always give you two, but its great stability lies in its flexibility, its intuitions, and in its unending source of creativity.

(I pointed to a painting I had just finished, of a male looking up and to my left. It had a strong appeal for me, and was almost a monochrome, done in blues and greens. I felt it had some sort of reincarnational meaning for me, but hadn’t yet got around to using the pendulum to see what I could find out on my own.

(I shook my head no. Actually I had several about the new painting, but my writing hand was so cramped I felt I wouldn’t be able to continue using it much longer.)