“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You, being a male, he felt, would be most alarmed at any undue emotionalisms. This aside from your own reaction to your mother’s emotionalism. So there was a good division set up between his intellectual-respectable-to-him masculine aspects, and his intuitive, feminine, private aspects.

In appearing on television he wore initially the pants suit to stress the masculine aspects, or tailored clothes, each stressing to him the more masculine, intellectual, respectable qualities of his nature. He is saying, you see, “I am quite normal, quite intellectual, and in my way quite responsible and proper. Do not be alarmed by my wild mystical self, for it is well under control.”

The relative (underline that twice) exile of Ruburt’s symbolically feminine characteristics is something that neither of you consciously realized. You did this to assure yourselves that these abilities, feminine in both of your minds, would not so get the upper hand that the responsible, and in both of your minds, masculine or dependable aspects of your life would be threatened.

All of the time of course these feminine aspects were being used as the intuitive, mystical thresholds of psychic activity. I told you once that Ruburt would not have allowed a feminine counterpart of myself to speak, but neither would you have. You would have been afraid of the “unpredictable” in quotes feminine aspects.

Now all of this is highly important. To some extent it was inevitable, considering your backgrounds. The feminine aspects in any case, culturally speaking, were being denied since you did not want children. Reincarnationally this you set ahead of time. If the psychic developments that represented your greatest fulfillment, with all their ramifications in your art and life, had not occurred, then you would have had two children, and continued a reincarnational cycle. There are other aspects here, in that in your last reincarnational life you had somewhat greater freedom within the sexual framework. You can come closer to the ideal identity that gives greater rein within one individual to both male and female characteristics.

Now. As noted much of this has to do with the fact that in your last reincarnation both the masculine and the feminine aspects of personality are to be as fully experienced as possible, while the overall present one-sex identification is to be maintained.

Your allowing the longer hair is a sign that of late you have become less frightened of the symbolically creative and feminine aspects of the artist. Your refusal in the past to look the part of an artist, per se, reflected your determination to insist upon, to you, the contrasting masculine aspects. As you allowed yourself somewhat more freedom in this regard, you both saw to it that in compensation Ruburt in his appearance allowed himself less.

In your relationship as a couple then you set up a framework in which freedoms allowed to one were compensated until certain adjustments were made. The creative aspects were given so much leeway, until out of fear one of you applied restraints of a restrictive nature. The painting to you had such strongly feminine connotations that subconsciously you felt your studio was like a womb, out of which the paintings were produced. You felt that this had some (underlined) terrifying implications, many of them threatening your sense of masculinity since, because of your misconceptions you were convinced ahead of time that they would never be used as a means of livelihood.