“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

When you can into longer accept it then you must change it. Otherwise the feeling of hopelessness builds up. Ruburt has been afraid, because of his background, to accept the negative aspects of your exterior circumstances. He loves you so deeply that he never wants to admit that you are hurt, bitter or sad. He has always thought that you were used, mainly by your mother, but he was afraid that his statements would be misinterpreted because of his own relationship with his parents.

However Ruburt has also picked up your feeling of hopelessness. Both of you have refused to come to grips with it and have been afraid of making any physical moves, or upsetting the apple cart. Ruburt is only too aware of the fact that he pushed to leave Sayre, and that your circumstances afterward in Florida were negative. He felt you blamed him for this, and thought it was an undisciplined action on his part, forcing you to make changes you did not want to make.

All of the material given concerning Ruburt’s background and motives is highly legitimate, but it shows clearly why he was willing to take on this role. He thought it would free you. In late months he has seen that it has not.

He would do literally anything to see you relieved and happy, and working productively. He thought, or felt, that by taking on the symptoms of your joint problem, he could free you creatively, and was bewildered when it did not.

Now you both thought that Ruburt’s symptoms were a solution. You thought they bought you time. This has been a cooperative effort. You felt your physical problems insurmountable, that you had not the energy to face them. Ruburt’s symptoms you thought gave you both time. You had moved so often in the past you were afraid of making a false move, and so you chose to make no move at all. You became afraid of challenge.

The thought of the Seth sale revived you. Then the old ideas of hopelessness settled back in, particularly when Ruburt discovered the taxes. You have both been resentful against your landlord, and particularly against Leonard Yaudes, and he had something to do with Ruburt’s latest (underlined) symptoms.