“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Alright. Now you are both afraid of making a move, but it is much easier for Ruburt to adopt the physical symptoms of immobility, because of his own background.

However Ruburt has also picked up your feeling of hopelessness. Both of you have refused to come to grips with it and have been afraid of making any physical moves, or upsetting the apple cart. Ruburt is only too aware of the fact that he pushed to leave Sayre, and that your circumstances afterward in Florida were negative. He felt you blamed him for this, and thought it was an undisciplined action on his part, forcing you to make changes you did not want to make.

You would not have left your parents so far behind at that time, he felt, except on his behalf. He felt also that you chastised him and held it against him bitterly. He has therefore never pushed you really to make a change since that time, and has pushed such ideas away from him, although he feels that the longer you stay at Artistic the more unhappy you will be; and there is also in him, and in you, a fear of making a move in physical terms. You are afraid of the consequences.

When you are afraid to move you are creatively constricted. Ruburt is acting out your situation as a family and as a unit. You did this at one time. That (underlined) terrified him more than the present situation.

You were willing to let this continue, feeling that it was temporary, and that you had done it for him before. You have a deep distrust of moving, because of your parents’ stationary background, and because of your father’s distrust and fear of the outside world.

When you do move you have a tendency to feel that Ruburt should pay for the inconvenience. Here you associate him with your mother, and Ruburt feels this unfair. Except for our sessions there has been little freshness in your environments because you would find it, both of you now, threatening. In other words you have preferred to place the problem, both of you again, upon Ruburt in physical terms, rather than face the inner issues with initiative and daring.

You do to some extent identify with your mother, in terms of a husband rather than a son, now that the king, father, has been removed. Ruburt feels that the mother acts as a center from which you will not move, but feels guilty of this feeling. To some extent out of misguided loyalty, all of the men in your mother’s life have kept her from using her own strength.

Now you both thought that Ruburt’s symptoms were a solution. You thought they bought you time. This has been a cooperative effort. You felt your physical problems insurmountable, that you had not the energy to face them. Ruburt’s symptoms you thought gave you both time. You had moved so often in the past you were afraid of making a false move, and so you chose to make no move at all. You became afraid of challenge.

Ruburt was terrified because his early efforts seemed to have left you nowhere. You seemed to have no initiative to make a physical move on your own, and he was afraid of making another false suggestion. You simply became afraid to act in the physical universe. For a while you adopted the symptoms of immobility then Ruburt accepted them.