“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

When you can into longer accept it then you must change it. Otherwise the feeling of hopelessness builds up. Ruburt has been afraid, because of his background, to accept the negative aspects of your exterior circumstances. He loves you so deeply that he never wants to admit that you are hurt, bitter or sad. He has always thought that you were used, mainly by your mother, but he was afraid that his statements would be misinterpreted because of his own relationship with his parents.

He feels you are being bled, money-wise. Now your physical situation is not entirely unbearable. Think what you have in comparison to what many human beings on your planet have, and you are kings. Remember that.

However Ruburt has also picked up your feeling of hopelessness. Both of you have refused to come to grips with it and have been afraid of making any physical moves, or upsetting the apple cart. Ruburt is only too aware of the fact that he pushed to leave Sayre, and that your circumstances afterward in Florida were negative. He felt you blamed him for this, and thought it was an undisciplined action on his part, forcing you to make changes you did not want to make.

You would not have left your parents so far behind at that time, he felt, except on his behalf. He felt also that you chastised him and held it against him bitterly. He has therefore never pushed you really to make a change since that time, and has pushed such ideas away from him, although he feels that the longer you stay at Artistic the more unhappy you will be; and there is also in him, and in you, a fear of making a move in physical terms. You are afraid of the consequences.

All of the material given concerning Ruburt’s background and motives is highly legitimate, but it shows clearly why he was willing to take on this role. He thought it would free you. In late months he has seen that it has not.

He would do literally anything to see you relieved and happy, and working productively. He thought, or felt, that by taking on the symptoms of your joint problem, he could free you creatively, and was bewildered when it did not.

Ruburt was terrified because his early efforts seemed to have left you nowhere. You seemed to have no initiative to make a physical move on your own, and he was afraid of making another false suggestion. You simply became afraid to act in the physical universe. For a while you adopted the symptoms of immobility then Ruburt accepted them.

The thought of the Seth sale revived you. Then the old ideas of hopelessness settled back in, particularly when Ruburt discovered the taxes. You have both been resentful against your landlord, and particularly against Leonard Yaudes, and he had something to do with Ruburt’s latest (underlined) symptoms.

You did because you felt that you were facing physical reality to that extent, and he was not. And he did for the same reason.