“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You blamed yourself for financial reasons, though consciously this would be the last thing to come to your mind. You think yourself quite free of financial conditions, and as an adult now in independent terms set yourself free of your parents. But subconsciously you wondered what social environment your child would really (underlined) encounter„ and whether or not you deprived him of the social and economic benefits that you have convinced yourself, consciously, you do not need.

You also wondered about depriving your mother of a grandchild now, for though you tell yourself she would not understand, still you wonder if interest in the child would not give her additional impetus and interest.

You used to wonder what there was about her that so captivated your father, since he had an obvious preference for her, and you would watch her secretly trying to find the answer. You disliked her heartily but the fascination kept at you, so that you studied her mannerisms, and even at times tried to copy them.