“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

But without the challenge and the conflict the personality would have had little chance to develop its potential, particularly in terms of understanding. Your own relationship would indeed have deteriorated to some degree. The spontaneity of Ruburt’s nature otherwise would have nearly dried up, and you as well as Ruburt would have sorely missed it. This brings us nearly to the present.

All your parents frightened him, for he saw them as he saw his own father. Often what passed as spontaneity and emotionalism were often unrelated acts of instinctive nature. What seemed to be freedom or free acts were instead the result of unreasoning propulsion.

He doubled his discipline, and tried to put the lid upon the spontaneous self. For some time he confused true spontaneity with acts caused by blind propulsion, so he could not trust his spontaneous nature. Your mother for example says what she thinks often. Ruburt therefore thought she was spontaneous; for a while he did not see the blind panic behind the words or acts.

Only the poetry represented neutral ground. On other areas of life the spontaneous became highly suspect in both social and work areas. In his gallery work experience he did his best to disguise his spontaneous nature, out of his own fear and also as a result of your attitude at that time.