“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The poetry was not seen as threatening to the disciplined self. Any work of fiction in which his abilities were at all fulfilled would have brought him to this point, and any endeavor such as the psychic work, which was adopted. In other words, for the personality to use its abilities fully that challenge would have had to be faced in every instance but the poetry.

This would have occurred however on the introduction of any strong spontaneous action. The World as Idea Construction came to him, beside its extrasensory origin, subconsciously, with an exploding effect to save him, because he had so put the lid upon his creative activities after Rebellers, that he had effectively blocked the intuitive self.

You therefore would protect him from the results of his own spontaneity, carried too far, for he never thought in terms of a spontaneity tempered by self-discipline. In Florida he saw his father as the epitome of unreason and uncontrolled spontaneity, which had actually become a hodgepodge of unrelated emotional acts, and he felt you then deserting him symbolically.

Here, when you became ill, he saw you were not omnipotent. You could not basically protect him from himself. You had been his in a basic manner, and he saw that you, his director, did not know where to turn. The hidden and bedrock, latent, strong conscientious self then rose up and took over control, and would not give the spontaneous self then back any of the reins.

A strong breakthrough was needed if the personality was to develop its potentials. The spontaneous self, relegated to the underground, then used all of its strength and forced the issue through opening up the psychic channels, which are very legitimate, and in the past had been an unsuspected deep portion of Ruburt’s personality. The challenge and the conflict were then set.

It goes without saying that all of this was fueled by past symbols and associations that then emerged. As the psychic development appeared the overly disciplined self reacted strongly.

The overly-disciplined self could not be hidden now. One part of the self could no longer be dominant at the expense of the other. The physical symptoms represented the conflict as the overly disciplined self again tried to take over the reins. It has gradually let itself fit in now, let itself integrate, and in so doing the body has been relived of symptoms.

He feared his own spontaneity then was the result of unreasoning propulsion, and in his early years certainly some of it had been. He could not differentiate, and feared his spontaneous self the more, and he saw you fear your parents’ behavior.

He doubled his discipline, and tried to put the lid upon the spontaneous self. For some time he confused true spontaneity with acts caused by blind propulsion, so he could not trust his spontaneous nature. Your mother for example says what she thinks often. Ruburt therefore thought she was spontaneous; for a while he did not see the blind panic behind the words or acts.

He identified strongly with both of your parents, for each of them seemed to signify the warring aspects of himself. He identified with each, hating and loving each for that reason. He did not trust you when you told him to free his intuitive self, now, when the symptoms were bad last year, because he felt you did not trust yourself to be spontaneous in your dealings with him. This is just before your own pendulum sessions.

Now, the overly conscientious or disciplined self is letting go as the integration takes place. The inner psychic in terms of psychically psychological activity has been constructive therefore since the process of integration began. He should, as he realizes, avoid dwelling on the symptoms consciously. This does not mean that he pretend they do not exist.

The erroneous attitudes had much to do with the difficulties. He thought of the spontaneous self, his spontaneous self, as joyful, free, intensely creative, but also as somewhat evil, frightening, unreasoning, and liable to lead him to disaster.

He thought of the overly conscientious self as stern, good, boring, constricting and uncreative, but very safe. He never made any serious attempt to integrate his personality, or to understand these portions of himself until recent years. He did not understand that discipline can be an aid to creativity, and that the spontaneous self is good. These erroneous attitudes were built up in this life. They echoed however experience in past lives also.

An out-thrust from the spontaneous self was a necessity then. The integration that is taking place will insure an end to such teeter-tottering. Psycho-Cybernetics faithfully followed (underlined) will insure the best possible conscious circumstances to enable the process to come to its speediest conclusions.