“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He is strongly accusing toward anything he regards as religious deceit, because of his experience you see, with several priests in the past. There is some connection here. He is deeply committed to his idea of truth and goodness. When he could no longer believe in the tenets of the Catholic Church wholeheartedly, fervently and completely, he divorced himself from it as thoroughly as he had once embraced its tenets.

Here he has tried to hold back, and yet not hold back. One very large portion of the personality is totally committed to our endeavors. Another portion has so far withheld complete commitment, though the rejection seems greater by contrast. In others the rejection would come close to commitment, but for him this is not enough.

A definite strain therefore developed, particularly painful since it involved his work also, to which he has always been strongly committed. He recognized the value of our endeavors to his work. On the other hand he still was not completely (underlined) committed, and therefore mistrusted.

He did not want to use his work (pause) to place his work, at the service of a cause to which he was not indelibly committed. (Long pause, eyes closed.) He has always been concerned with teaching, as I have been. The conscientious portions of the personality are of great benefit in that area. (Voice quiet but firm and emphatic). He must believe completely in what he is doing, in what he is teaching, or he feels himself deceitful.

Yet, I cannot completely be myself while within his system, since I am using his nervous system. It is the mixture of strangeness and familiarity that confuses him in this regard. It is not possible for me to speak through him, now, without using his physical structure.