“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Complete notes made during the pendulum session are on file. This afternoon, incidentally, Jane and I spent in Sayre, visiting my father in the hospital, eating supper with mother, etc.

Now. You did indeed see your father (as my pendulum told me) not as a man who failed in several important areas, but as a failure in all areas: as a husband, breadwinner, father. (Pause.) You identified with him however out of fear of your mother’s emotionalism. You did not dare identify with her.

His vitality was formed in that environment. The passive qualities in him would have been far more predominant, overly so, but for the adversity he faced. His mother’s colorful, emphatic and mystical characteristics gave him incentive, and generated mental and psychic activity. (Long pause.)

The overall self chose the background. Now. Ruburt has always been primarily driven by a desire to write successfully. His mother encouraged the writing. At the same time he felt guilty that he was free and the mother was not, and he blamed himself to some degree for her situation. The mother did blame the child in this respect.

The mother wanted success for the child, and yet Ruburt felt (pause) that success would also be resented by the mother, that the mother would be jealous of it. The mother wanted success for the daughter so that the daughter could share the fruits of the success and provide for her. While Ruburt had no money there was no fear of this.

Financial success was put off, you see. It was not to be denied but put off. (Pause.) He did not want to share it with his mother, for to Ruburt this meant having his mother live with him.

These hidden feelings however made him susceptible to your own fears. He must indeed, completely, rid himself of his strong resentments at his mother. The above paragraphs should help him. He cannot resent the environment nor his parent, since he chose both. (Long pause.)

(10:42. Jane was farther under this time, she said, kept there rather cleverly by Seth. She wanted to resist the material about her mother, at first, but then went along with it. Resume at 10:50.)