“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You were guiltily aware of this, and punish yourself by refusing to allow yourself to make money with good paintings now. This is that key to understanding, Joseph.

To paint paintings for joy was an act of defiance against your mother, and so you have punished yourself in several ways; by being overly concerned with their quality, insisting upon perfection, and by not making strong efforts to sell them or to work for recognition in that field.

Not allowing yourself to make money through paintings also allowed you to punish yourself for what you considered this act of defiance. Two purposes in the main were served. This also affected your work itself to some degree, in that you sometimes inserted qualities in the paintings to hold people off, a remoteness.

You made large attempts to close yourself off from deep emotion, in reaction against your mother’s emotionalism, and largely because you felt emotionalism was false. With her, emotionalism was often an excuse.

Give us a moment. (Pause. Head down.) Now hear me. Using what you have learned here tonight, you can use your ability more freely. (Pause.) You can step out, so to speak, you can allow yourself to rely upon the integrity of spontaneity as it applies to your painting and to your talent.