“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

To paint paintings for joy was an act of defiance against your mother, and so you have punished yourself in several ways; by being overly concerned with their quality, insisting upon perfection, and by not making strong efforts to sell them or to work for recognition in that field.

Not allowing yourself to make money through paintings also allowed you to punish yourself for what you considered this act of defiance. Two purposes in the main were served. This also affected your work itself to some degree, in that you sometimes inserted qualities in the paintings to hold people off, a remoteness.

The perfection that you seek is not ever a finished, but a becoming quality. The technical ability gives a poised point through which these realities can emerge. The technique that is yours and is excellent should be the point of departure that sends the spontaneous action into new reality, and not a rigid mold to contain it.