“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Anger that your art did not bring you more money. You felt that if your hand were surer you would be better recompensed. You were angry at your talent, wishing it were one that was more quickly recognized in financial terms in your society.

To search for perfection within your art is good. The drive is good. But this is something different. Each painting has a spontaneous reality that you have often refused to acknowledge. (Pause.) Carried to extremes this could smother the spontaneous spark that is the heart of each painting.

(Long pause, eyes closed.) This session itself should aid your understanding enough to allow some improvement almost immediately in the condition itself. Two issues are involved. The painting was an act of defiance against your mother, an act of independence. She approved of the commercial art because it made money. Therefore if you made money through your paintings, then subconsciously you thought that your mother would still be getting her way. You see?

Commercial work also still rankles. Beside other considerations you feel, subconsciously again, that you still serve your mother’s purposes: art for money, and that therefore your initial act of defiance and independence is not complete.