“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Even the welfare considerations enter in here. He sat on the family porch Sunday to escape the house as he did as a child in Saratoga. In his subconscious your father and mother become two aspects both representing his own mother. The father, nearly crippled, to be cared for, and therefore frightening. Yet he spontaneously kissed the father, and tried to give him strength.

The father, your father, represents to him, Ruburt, the helpless portions of his own mother, directed so to speak where he can see them. Your mother represents to him the destructive, unreasoning energies of his own mother, and in the pull and conflict between your mother and father, he sees the tortured connections of his mother’s soul.

They, your parents, are done with each other, your mother being more honest than your father in this respect. (Long pause.) Her rage, you must understand, is the other face of life, vitality and love, and she will not give up her demands. She will try to shove him out, and he will cower before her strength. He always resented her vitality.

He gave up years ago. Her energy made him keep up appearances. Her vitality fed him, but it could not rouse him. Now he in his helplessness pays her back, and she rages against him. The sons left early, but he refuses to leave. She feels betrayed by the sons who left, and the father who stayed.

Your father fulfilled his main purpose in this existence, and was satisfied, sometime within five to seven years after his marriage. He wanted to leave then. The main portion of his personality, the integrating functions, the strong core, left, and rejoined the entity years ago. A fragment, the shell that you know, remained.

She could not let it go. She demanded that some portion of your father remain. They made a bargain, all without knowing. Her vitality would not permit her to leave. She was tied too strongly to earth through physical connections. More than half of your father’s personality has been vacant, and this portion has been with the entity. It has grown and matured. It stepped out.

There was no inner need nor purpose in its remaining. There were reasons why the two personalities, your mother and your father, met. These reasons on your father’s part were consummated. He did not feel that he could die. (Pause.) He left what she wanted. (Long pause.) She fears the presence of her husband’s other self, but does not know this consciously.

Your mother tried to change you into the image of the man she had known. You were to take his place, and she enjoyed it when you supported the household. Every bill you paid, or small item you purchased, had erotic connotations, and on two levels: on your part subconsciously, because you felt her strong emotional pull, though it terrified you; and on her part because you took the place of the father.

You nearly fell into disaster, living in the house. You knew you would meet Ruburt, however, and she tried to prevent it, for she knew it also. The shell of your father rejoiced. You recognized your predicament, and henceforth refused to take the main responsibility for your mother, which was the responsibility of a man for his wife.

(Pause.) Your brother Dick was meant to be a female. He was to have been a little sister. Give us a moment. (Pause.) There will be a separation of the mother and the father. The father’s shell will feel pushed out initially, but then will find peace and contentment, for it is passive, and has been pushed to exhaustion. (My parents did end up separated)

Your mother needs action, physical vigorous action. Your kind of life would drive her mad. She could destroy your other brother. For a while she will stay at home. (Pause.) Your father’s ghost or shell waits to be reunited with the other portions of itself. In the meantime it will roam through the old house, seeking what is lost, and finding recreated scenes that bring him peace.

The old panic is being dispelled through the present situation with your parents. At a lesser degree of development this would not be the case. Both your father and your mother subconsciously know your position and Ruburt’s. Subconsciously they both know that this good is coming from their own situation.