“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The message (the contents of the last session, the 367th), so far has reached the super-conscientious self. (Pause.) It is not kicking up a fuss so much as hesitating in caution. It was the spontaneous self who kicked up the fuss this afternoon, thinking: hurry, hurry, hurry, see things my way (when Jane tried to work on the dream book, unsuccessfully).

He suspended his periods. He is neither pregnant nor beginning the menopause. This was a biological activity he felt he could safely suspend, and in doing so avoid further conflict, the conflict caused by enjoyment in sex, when he did not feel worthy of being loved.

(Jane’s delivery was now getting lighter and slower, almost as though she was drifting off to sleep.)

There was literally a psychological sense of shock.

I will myself attempt to communicate with Father Ryan, who is now much less rigid than he was, and this may help. He can himself communicate to Ruburt through his dreams, and clear up many confused issues. Father Traynor will also be of assistance to us, I am sure.

Now. You see Ruburt has accepted you as an extension of the super-conscientious self, and your word was added to the taboos already set up. Therefore a mystical import, a magical import, was given to your every word.

Ruburt has wanted you to rub him for the sake of physical contact and reassurance, this being more than acceptable to both portions. He was made to feel unworthy and unwanted by his mother, and it was the spontaneous self who took the brunt of this. He feels therefore rejected by any family group.

The grandfather was as rigid in his way as the grandmother. He was afraid of his own thoughts as a child, believing that thoughts could kill. The unspoken bitterness against his mother built up inside him. He considered it wrong, and could not release it. Hence the Pollyanna attitude at times, a desperate attempt to cover up thoughts that are spontaneous, but that are considered evil by the conscientious self.

Always a strong trend and ability for high dedication. The conflict mentioned in last evening’s session was a barrier to dedication. He felt lost without dedication, and it robbed his days of meaning. He has always seen his daily life in the context of eternal meaning, and the conflict prevented this, robbing him of the previous significance possessed by the most trivial incident.

He was no longer certain of his course. Do you have questions?

(10:55. Jane still lay flat, quite unusual for her; she was not aware of any resistance, she said. Her eyes were closed much of the time, her voice slow and quiet, her manner rather tired.)