“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The energy of the overly conscientious self is as strong as that of the spontaneous self, hence the impasse that had been reached. He can only go full steam ahead when the whole personality is convinced of his course. For the personality knows full well the tremendous force of its own energy potential, and it would be literally disastrous for one portion to go ahead at the expense of the other. Therefore, regardless of present consequences, one portion has been kept down in order to avoid any serious, that is disastrous, cleavage.

In Catholic terms he consecrated himself to God as a child daily. He has done so again but without admitting the fact. There is some difficulty here... (pause) not necessarily a blockage, but a misunderstanding.... We shall have to clear it up later.

Now. When you make love to him, assure him of your emotional love and concern, and affection. In the beginning stress this, and lull him. He needs to be quieted first through word and caresses. Use the word husband often, reminding him of your realistic relationship. And emphasize also the connection between emotional and mystic love that you share.

He suspended his periods. He is neither pregnant nor beginning the menopause. This was a biological activity he felt he could safely suspend, and in doing so avoid further conflict, the conflict caused by enjoyment in sex, when he did not feel worthy of being loved.

He feared his mother prowled the house during darkness—this also accounting for some of the sleep difficulty.

The old neighborhood has enclosed him, and he must now truly escape its limitations while using the psychic potential of his experience as an integrating power. (Pace slower yet.) It is also responsible you see for the remarkable potential that he has. He does not feel free to use his full energy until all portions of the personality are convinced of the goodness of his purpose. (Long pause.)

I will myself attempt to communicate with Father Ryan, who is now much less rigid than he was, and this may help. He can himself communicate to Ruburt through his dreams, and clear up many confused issues. Father Traynor will also be of assistance to us, I am sure.

Ruburt has wanted you to rub him for the sake of physical contact and reassurance, this being more than acceptable to both portions. He was made to feel unworthy and unwanted by his mother, and it was the spontaneous self who took the brunt of this. He feels therefore rejected by any family group.

The grandfather was as rigid in his way as the grandmother. He was afraid of his own thoughts as a child, believing that thoughts could kill. The unspoken bitterness against his mother built up inside him. He considered it wrong, and could not release it. Hence the Pollyanna attitude at times, a desperate attempt to cover up thoughts that are spontaneous, but that are considered evil by the conscientious self.

Always a strong trend and ability for high dedication. The conflict mentioned in last evening’s session was a barrier to dedication. He felt lost without dedication, and it robbed his days of meaning. He has always seen his daily life in the context of eternal meaning, and the conflict prevented this, robbing him of the previous significance possessed by the most trivial incident.

He was no longer certain of his course. Do you have questions?