“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(This afternoon while painting the thought came to me that Jane’s trouble was that she was avoiding success; and success was looming ever closer with the advertising campaign planned for her ESP book, the near-completion of the dream book, etc. In the 350th Session for July 6, 1967, is a sentence which has stayed with me— when Seth said: “Ruburt has an unfortunate sense of unworthiness, without which the situation [Jane’s symptoms] could not have developed.” I wondered if the unworthy feeling and the fact of success could be linked through the symptoms.

If the possibility of success had never emerged the problem would never have emerged. It was unfortunately a cue point, and itself the time bomb of which Ruburt spoke. (Before the session tonight.)

The spontaneous ran out of control. This has something to do with the mother’s talking to the child about the father. He was uncontrolled— uncontrollable, lax, slow, and yet evil. The father had money and was evil. The poor were virtuous and on the side of God. The rich would never attain heaven. This is Ruburt’s penance, you see, put upon him by this other part of his personality. If he succeeds he must pay, for if he does not pay, if he does not willingly submit to his own punishment, then there is eternal damnation.

For every act he considers uncharitable or sarcastic he must pay. The Harriet poem: for that you see he believes he must pay. The irony of course is carefully chosen— that he choose those symptoms that reminds him of his mother. For she flaunted the neighborhood and the Irish background physically in her youth, and paid, and Ruburt fought it intellectually, and feels he must pay.

The Crowders representing money, you see, appall him. He expects the wrath of God to fall upon them at any time. He hates them because he considers them evil because they are wealthy. The old car (our Ford) is a badge of virtue to Ruburt since it is old and decrepit. It is a sign of safety.

Ruburt’s student Venice must have her weight, or she fears destruction. Ruburt must have his failure, and relative poverty, or he fears destruction.

Now. Ruburt’s early mystic life was also bound up with priests who were males, with whom one could not have any sexual relationship. He is now bound up with you in these endeavors. While he is so confused, then sexual relationship with you also becomes evil. He also felt compelled to follow the advice of the priests whether or not he agreed with it. This led to his passivity as far as you were concerned. If you were jealous of his success, he should not have it, and it must be plucked out.

It is a great help then for Ruburt to write his poetry. This session will in itself be of benefit, for it is the first clear sign you have had of the true situation. Ruburt asked me for help today, and this is my answer and my help.

There is no reason why it will not listen, however, and gladly. Because of its very nature it wants to attach itself to, and work for, what it considers the good. It has been held within severe limitations and working under a false premise. It is trying to restrain Ruburt from doing that which is wrong. As it realizes through re-education that the spontaneous self is good, the sense of unworthiness will vanish. (Pause.)

You are extremely important in all of this, and you can do much to make Ruburt understand. (Jane paused. She shifted her position her eyes closed. Eventually she ended up lying on her back full length on the couch, where she had been sitting throughout the session. She continued to speak with her eyes closed. Her pace was slower. As far as I could recall, this was the first time she had permitted herself to lie flat during a session while in trance.) Because of the early training, you have somewhat assumed a position like those of the priests, and your word becomes extremely important, and almost like a law. Hence his passivity in many instances, and his avoidance of sex.

It has. When it realizes that the spontaneous self is a god-self, then it will actively help Ruburt.

The overconscientious self has blocked many of Ruburt’s impressions in the past.

Both. Particularly on his own. The Father Ryan influence—and he also had back trouble. Father Doren was seen as a spontaneous but evil man. Father Ryan was seen as rigid and uncompromising, but good. Father Ryan gave Ruburt his first typewriter, and desk, and bed. Now do you see those connections?

This is connected with Ruburt, of course, and you feel your purpose is bent from its main direction, in that you are not painting full time.

We will end. Give Ruburt a sip of wine.