“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The physical not-being-able-to-run, the slowing of motions, are all physical manifestations. This is the Irish grandmother, the mother, and the neighborhood shouting: Jane, do not run. Though consciously disobeying as a child, the suggestions took deep root. Spontaneity was evil.

For every act he considers uncharitable or sarcastic he must pay. The Harriet poem: for that you see he believes he must pay. The irony of course is carefully chosen— that he choose those symptoms that reminds him of his mother. For she flaunted the neighborhood and the Irish background physically in her youth, and paid, and Ruburt fought it intellectually, and feels he must pay.

When this portion is operating he does not dare enjoy the pleasures of love. No one in his neighborhood did, you see. (Pause.) He denies himself then out of fear. When he succeeds he punishes himself. When he fails the other, spontaneous, self rises up in arms. The two warring factions have been beating him apart.