“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The spontaneous ran out of control. This has something to do with the mother’s talking to the child about the father. He was uncontrolled— uncontrollable, lax, slow, and yet evil. The father had money and was evil. The poor were virtuous and on the side of God. The rich would never attain heaven. This is Ruburt’s penance, you see, put upon him by this other part of his personality. If he succeeds he must pay, for if he does not pay, if he does not willingly submit to his own punishment, then there is eternal damnation.

For every act he considers uncharitable or sarcastic he must pay. The Harriet poem: for that you see he believes he must pay. The irony of course is carefully chosen— that he choose those symptoms that reminds him of his mother. For she flaunted the neighborhood and the Irish background physically in her youth, and paid, and Ruburt fought it intellectually, and feels he must pay.

The Crowders representing money, you see, appall him. He expects the wrath of God to fall upon them at any time. He hates them because he considers them evil because they are wealthy. The old car (our Ford) is a badge of virtue to Ruburt since it is old and decrepit. It is a sign of safety.

Scrounging about, taking secondhand items, allows him to accumulate some extras with impunity, because they are not new. He is deeply afraid of finishing his book for fear it will sell. He sends out messages pressing for the success of his original book, and sends out equally strong ones urging that it not be accepted, that it is not a huge success. This is the original book. (The ESP book.)

The New York trip (in August), his response to it, was largely responsible for the setback. He believes also that he must therefore accept any disability and discomfort because it is just punishment. The other portion rises up in arms and forces him to demand success.

When you did not expect success, really, then you did not threaten him. Now you expect success, and he feels even beforehand an added threat. Then he will have to suffer for you both, he feels.

Running is symbolic. He could run, his mother could not. She was evil. But if he is successful, then he believes he will be successful when he does not deserve it. Therefore evil also, and so he shall not run; running being symbolic of spontaneity. If he gives himself emotional and psychic freedom, then to compensate he will deny himself physical freedom. I have been a safeguard, for I was between him and complete spontaneity, you see.

When this portion is operating he does not dare enjoy the pleasures of love. No one in his neighborhood did, you see. (Pause.) He denies himself then out of fear. When he succeeds he punishes himself. When he fails the other, spontaneous, self rises up in arms. The two warring factions have been beating him apart.

The New York trip frightened him by its success. He felt he needed the punishment of the program (Alan Burke, TV), and you helped him avoid it. One remark or circumstance will be a cue to one or the other portions of the personality, which will then take over. He will be free or constrained, you see, until the next trigger point is given.

The physical symptoms therefore frighten him severely in that he does not run. He thinks you do not want him to talk about his past because you are ashamed of it. Take your break. (9:58.)

You can use this to advantage however, as you explain the situation to him, for your words have almost magical import at this time. (Pause.)

With an understanding of this material, yes. And poetry should also be written. I believe the session itself should bring him some considerable relief, but it will not last unless the points given are hammered in.

(“Yes. Can you give him some beneficial suggestions tonight?”)