“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now, on your part we will use the word envy rather than jealousy. (Jane smiled.) There is a difference. This has to do with your friend (J. Spaziani), and an excellent friend he is indeed. You are itching to have what he has, quite literally. This should be clearly understood, for envy is a potentially dangerous emotion.

For upon his shoulders rests the burden of what he owns, and he fears with a steady, nearly unending panic that he will not be able to keep this, through ill health. The panic is wild and like a storm. Basically you do not consider the terms. You do not realize that he has long ago made a bargain to give his family those things which he feels will content them, only to find them less content. For to deliver these things he must, because of his nature, deprive them of other more important considerations.

You would feel twice as trapped in his circumstances. He wants to share with you what he has, and in your visits, to which he and his wife look forward, in your acceptance of his hospitality and food and drink, he hopes for some justification.

There is little need for you to itch to have what he has. Because of your past existence as a landowner, you particularly are resentful of those who own land. This was one of my main reasons for suggesting strongly that you buy the specific property, a while back. Such a procedure would have satisfied a strong demand of your nature, but it would not have isolated you to an unhealthy degree, since it was close by.

(It was about 10:53. This delivery began at 10:29, at the end of the regular 208th session. I was very pleased to obtain the above material, for it confirmed what I had learned on my own through using the pendulum this week.)

The envy caused you to be angry at the hand, which was not bringing you the financial results that envy required. Therefore you punished the hand. Subconsciously your reasoning went like this: “If I were any shape of a man, the hand would bring me what I wanted.” And translating this into literal terms, you changed the shape of the penis.

Now lately the hand has improved because the envy itself was given direct expression through the itch. The itch therefore became the punishment for the envy that it expressed. This was a more direct, less involved, less frightening symptom, a localization in other words. The envy being realized subconsciously for what it was, isolated in such a manner, meant that the hand need no longer falter.

It is also so aimed in another manner. For when you are envious you become angry at yourself, but also angry at him, for you cannot help thinking that if he worked harder, if he did something, of what you are not certain, then he would make more money, and you could still have what envy demands. So here again the penis difficulty, for he sat home full time writing, while you work part time, and yet he has not made all that money.

The back problem was particularly easy for Ruburt to pick up, because of his mother and the arthritis, and because of this Father Ryan, whose back was injured. He constantly picks up and reacts to your moods, subconscious as well as conscious, interprets them, and translates them into physical realities, because of your psychic closeness and his strong telepathic abilities.

For the bed reinforced the mother image for him. There is much more here, and we will cover what we can, and fill in when we can. The poor eyesight and the sinus are both, on a much limited scale, adaptations of his mother’s more frightening and more successful efforts to close out portions of reality.