“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Ruburt, incidentally, simply because of his nature and through no design, was of benefit to you here, since he never commented on the penis in an adverse manner.

Now. The symptoms would vary at times. You also felt that in order to satisfy envy, you would have to change yourself from your direct course to a crooked course. Here again, the shape of the penis.

We have something else here however to say concerning the penis, which is very amusing under the circumstances, and not simple.

It is also so aimed in another manner. For when you are envious you become angry at yourself, but also angry at him, for you cannot help thinking that if he worked harder, if he did something, of what you are not certain, then he would make more money, and you could still have what envy demands. So here again the penis difficulty, for he sat home full time writing, while you work part time, and yet he has not made all that money.

One more thing here. A connection with your mother, in that you feel that she never considered your father a true, straight man because he did not do well financially.

The manipulations here should be obvious, and they result again in the shape of the penis. All of these difficulties are not organically serious. Functionally they certainly are not beneficial however, and they should now begin to better themselves. Much of this has already been worked out by your own subconscious, and with this session the situation should quickly begin to show signs of improvement.

(Here Seth refers to the unscheduled session held on Friday, November 5, for Ann Diebler, Paul Sinderman, and Marilyn and Don Wilbur. A few notes about it preface the 206th Session. Consciously I had not wanted to have the session, since I thought our guests not well-enough prepared.)

One session is not enough here. For the interconnections that exist between the two of you, several sessions would give you an excellent basis for understanding yourselves in relationship to one another. I do not know where to begin.

I am sparing no one here, incidentally, for your benefits. He is prone to criticism; that is, he is prone to being criticized. He picked up the feeling that although you wanted him home writing, you were also envious and resentful. Yet he loves you. He felt you were being stiff-necked, and identified here.

For the bed reinforced the mother image for him. There is much more here, and we will cover what we can, and fill in when we can. The poor eyesight and the sinus are both, on a much limited scale, adaptations of his mother’s more frightening and more successful efforts to close out portions of reality.

One, along with the recent irregular periods, is fairly obvious. His book is to be published, and since he is a female the book is his baby. It will not be completely born until it hits the light of day. We have then pressure pains, extended abdomen, and irregular periods. (Seth much amused here.)

He feels that your eyes are upon him to see that he puts in a full working day, and he feels that he must because you do. Without your help he feels guilty, staying home. His nature is strongly intuitive and spontaneous. It needed discipline, and you helped here to a truly astounding degree.

Your own background is important here, and he picks up your past feelings, you see. You truly have no respect for your mother, in the one instance that your father supported her, and she pushed him. There is a connection here with Ruburt’s insistence on spending a part of his money on the apartment tangibly, where you could see it, and be reminded that he helped out.

This I intend to clarify. Now. Ruburt is bearing up well this evening, with my help. I can clarify further here on his health after a break, or you may end the session.