“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

I do not know how tired you are. Now or later we can discuss your hand.

Now, as briefly as possible. The hand was connected with the envy, and also with the difficulty involving the penis. This is somewhat complicated.

The envy caused you to be angry at the hand, which was not bringing you the financial results that envy required. Therefore you punished the hand. Subconsciously your reasoning went like this: “If I were any shape of a man, the hand would bring me what I wanted.” And translating this into literal terms, you changed the shape of the penis.

You did not incapacitate the penis or the hand, you see. You did not after all blame yourself that much. (Seth amused; I laugh.)

The hand faltered out of two reasons, for two reasons.

You faltered in your purpose subconsciously, so the hand was allowed to falter. You were not steady on your course, and the hand faltered. Yet because you are an artist above all, you also punished yourself for your envy with the faltering hand, so that the hand expressed two needs.

(“Why was my hand better last week?”)

Now lately the hand has improved because the envy itself was given direct expression through the itch. The itch therefore became the punishment for the envy that it expressed. This was a more direct, less involved, less frightening symptom, a localization in other words. The envy being realized subconsciously for what it was, isolated in such a manner, meant that the hand need no longer falter.

On the one hand you are pleased because Ruburt does not demand a large amount of physical goods, in usual terms. On the other hand you have the hilarious suspicion, when you are envious of others, that if he wanted more you would get more for him. You could blame him, and therefore have your cake and eat it too; so that the penis difficulty is also aimed in his direction, rather literally.

(Break at 11:29. Jane had been well dissociated. Her delivery had been fast, her eyes open much of the time, and she smoked steadily. Her voice sounded somewhat dry. My hand had long ago gone half numb. She resumed again in the same manner at 11:39.)

One the other hand, this fear works for him, because he works harder as a writer to pay you back. So it is not entirely negative or destructive, but partially channeled in a constructive fashion.