“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The symptoms, beside other issues, have been a crying out to you for a love he feels he does not deserve but needs, a love he feared you could forget. He feared always that you would go your way in your work and life, and emotionally leave him alone. He could not bear that eventuality.

On one level then the sessions were an attempt to retain your love and give him a right to it. Hence his later feelings that you loved him only for the sessions carried a certain charge. Now this is one of the most important sessions you have been given on your own affairs. I suggest a break. He would quite literally do anything to retain your love—hence his feelings sometimes that you sent him out on this psychic pilgrimage. This feeling however, having its roots in “lack of rights” and his alliance with you, also provides him with the unity upon which his life is based: the poetry, the psychic work, and yourself. A trio, you see.

The writing self had always been both highly intuitional and highly questioning. The questioning of values, of neighborhood and church, allowed the intuitions to work and gave them freedom. The writing self therefore led the way also to the psychic developments. These were a natural extension.

When he began to doubt the writing self in this new alliance with the psychic, then the framework became shaky. Some of this was a creative psychic and artistic endeavor that had to be worked through, whether or not it shook the foundations, you see.

He did not feel they had served that particular purpose, yet he felt the sessions too legitimate to drop then, and the psychic work too fascinating to disown. They seemed not to have brought you closer together however, to him. Precisely at the time the strong symptoms began, the ESP book was slated for publication. You had received the cover, and the writing self was facing its own conflicts also: was the psychic work its natural fulfillment, or a disastrous side trip? The two of you were not communicating well. He did not feel you were proud enough of that book. He was afraid it did not justify your love. His symptoms then began.

Any money he made was always simply a way of winning your approval, in the terms that you wanted. He had many good ideas that he felt you would have been against that would have worked out very well, but he was afraid of going against you.

There are several areas that can work great improvement.