“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Only poetry seemed Ruburt’s by right. In the convent home, as you know, letters were censored, and only positive statements got through the censor. The child feared punishment there by giving voice to any complaint. Ruburt grew up then without daring to ask for anything. Welfare, who gave, always threatened to take away. They were a threat as well as a sustenance. The college scholarship was not Ruburt’s by right, but could also be taken away.

To voice any dissatisfaction to you verbally was highly difficult, for you could then take away your love and affection, as his mother did, for she would not stand, in Ruburt’s eyes, for such voiced aggression. He had to be quiet therefore to preserve your love.

The backed-up feelings helped bring about the rigidity over a period of time. He was operating to a large degree according to the code long set down by his grandfather: be quiet, do not argue, be aloof, and above all never raise your voice.

Policy however shadowed everything he did, for he carried it into every activity. Whenever he thought anything differently than the opinions you voiced, he felt inward and refused to express himself regardless of the issue involved—its triviality or its importance.

If you did not object, it meant you did not care for the sessions. In the psychic realm therefore he dared not voice any feelings that you did not voice. The unvoiced fear always was that you would abandon him because he had no rights.