“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now part of this was quite unrealistic, based on old ideas of his, part of it from the interaction of your natures. Our sessions are extremely legitimate, from what you would call a psychic viewpoint—you are reaching dimensions very seldom reached. They also served psychological purposes of course.

Ruburt hoped they would bring the two of you closer together after your illness. Instead he feared that they drove you farther apart, in that he feared you would use them to spend time away from him rather than with him, and in that he did not feel able to express his own ambiguous feelings—the ideas of performance entering in here.

There was also the idea of channeling that energy into our sessions, this of course at a deeply unconscious level. Instead he felt that you latched upon the sessions so that they came before he did personally—that you demanded performance there in sessions, while not in bed. In an odd way he felt that you used them against him, in other words—this during the time of tests, in that area.

Any money he made was always simply a way of winning your approval, in the terms that you wanted. He had many good ideas that he felt you would have been against that would have worked out very well, but he was afraid of going against you.