“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

I suggest, quite seriously, that Ruburt make up a list of his accomplishments; that he make a list of his good points; that he write down a short list of those things he thinks he is doing right (humorously), and the things he enjoys; and you add to these lists. I want him to concentrate upon his accomplishments rather than any failings, and you also. In a determination to do better, he has begun to concentrate upon failings. Your loving endeavors toward him have indeed helped, but until very recently you also fell into the same trap.

He began to think that just about everything he did was wrong. His reader’s report (for Prentice/Hall) pleased him however, as did your reaction to it. Now I think you will agree we need to build him up—

—put some weight on him. Now think of it this way. He has been tearing himself down psychologically in an effort to find out what has been wrong, that the symptoms persist. He has simply gone overboard in that direction. So to build him up psychologically and not artificially, we remind him of his accomplishments and those areas in which he is doing very well.

Now there are several, and they are being bypassed and to some extent unrecognized because of this other emphasis. Some of this also applies to you. For example, Ruburt is doing very well in his classes, enjoys it, and closes his eyes, relatively speaking, to the improvement he has worked in the lives of his students, and to the freedoms he has allowed himself in class in using his abilities. The class before last is a case in point. Both of you do not realize the exceptional impact you have on others in personal relationships.

(Pause.) The achievements therefore must be kept in mind; not only are they not focused upon, but they are often forgotten. To some extent this also applies to you in your own endeavors. Reminding Ruburt of these achievements, of the things he does right, will put some weight on him. For when he concentrates upon his failings, for whatever reason, he sees himself as a person of no substance.

In an attempt to discover the reason for the persistence of the symptoms, he began to concentrate upon those in quotes “negative “ aspects of his personality. The overconcentration continued the symptoms, and the symptoms themselves became exaggerated in his mind. Do you follow me?

In other words, he felt that unless he was using his abilities fully, and was spiritually, creatively and psychically perfect, he should mar his physical performance. His idea of honesty and his literal interpretation led him to the idea after the worst part of his difficulties were over, that he should keep some of the symptoms to show he was not a hypocrite to others.

Now, I did not say that you had to be a saint to be healthy, and many saints were not healthy, and this had nothing to do with merit. Until he used his abilities fully, he did not feel he could use his body fully, for this would be hypocritical.

He is so confused about the reasons for his condition that he literally did not know where to turn, and so he turned to me.

Now if you please, tell him that despite any misgivings, overall he is using his abilities rather well. Tell him also that good health is free. He does not have to pay for it, by being a saint on earth; and that if this were true no man or woman alive would be in good health.

Tell him that good health is as accessible to him as air. He does not have to work for it. It is indeed his right, and natural heritage. It is a means toward using his abilities, not a reward for using them. It is not something given to him when he is good, and withdrawn when he feels he has been bad.

Now, in your good intentions you told Ruburt lately that he was using only a tenth of his abilities, meaning that most people only used a portion of their capabilities. (I also explained this meaning to Jane at the time.) He took this as an accusation, however, and further concentrated upon his lacks. Neither of you should expect perfect performance in your work, and I say this to you as well as to Ruburt. To some extent there has been a weaving in and out, so that at times Ruburt’s symptoms were personal, and at times they were symbols for both of your attitudes.

His symptoms would become then at times symbols of your joint lack of perfection, mainly in your works. His symptoms became a hanger upon which you could hang your joint dissatisfactions, his physical condition an easy mark to stand for what both of you considered inner imperfections; again, connected mainly with your creative endeavors.

You work mornings outside. He feels guilty that you do. He feels how you would enjoy and appreciate painting in the same way that my book is being presented, so spontaneously and quickly, comparatively speaking. He thinks this should be granted to you rather than to him, to make up for your job, and so he has felt somewhat guilty about it, and punished himself by holding off. He was afraid you would be jealous of the book, and hurt, and his panic was of your reaction.

Incidentally, the parsley is good for him. Make it a part of your salad diet, for his periods. It is an old, valid recipe. Take your break, for your fingers’ sake.

—I’ll shortly close. A few more points however. Discuss particularly the early portion of this session with him, and get it through his head that health is not dependent upon perfect performance, creativity, psychically or spiritually. This is extremely important, for this is a strong belief with him now; and he did not see the humor when he heard what I said—it made perfect sense to him. This is an area where you can help him.

Now I can laugh with you, but he will not when he reads this. He felt he was not worthy of the healing ability because he was not perfect. Again, do all you can to convince him that his good health is not dependent upon his performance or perfection. This is extremely important.

For one thing, she is afraid that the Jesuit will get more severe symptoms of his own, as a result of work pressure, and in a protective way she is trying to say “Bill, do not get sick. See, I will get sick myself instead, for you.”

She also feels guilty at being in good health when he is so unhappy in his work, and has adopted symptoms out of sympathy.

She also feels that because he has been so busy he has been away from home more often, and because of his worries, less attentive. The symptoms also serve to say “Remember me. I need your care and attention also.” Quite simply, she is saying “I hurt because you hurt.”

She is saying “You are not only hurting yourself, but you are hurting me also.” Symbolically, the malady is expressing her attitude perfectly. She is strongly dependent upon the Jesuit, even while she appears, and is in many ways solitary and aggressive; and she is afraid that their intimate life might suffer if the acceleration of his work experience is continued, and if his attitude toward it does not change.

It is the Jesuit’s attitude, and not the conditions, and he can (underline) change those attitudes once he realizes the effects they are having not only upon himself but upon his wife.