“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Ruburt’s deep love for you shocked him out of that pattern for some time, but he also idealized you to such an extent that some difficulties were bound to arise. Behind any ordinary disagreement you might voice, any normal protest, he felt there was a great charge. He was so afraid to voice protest himself that he felt you must be driven by great inner forces before you would dare voice any protest to him.

He therefore drastically overemphasized your attitudes and moods during your illness. The feeling that you did not need him began to grow out of normal bounds in Florida. Lately the apartment seemed frightening to him because he felt like a rat in a maze, reacting to the same stimuli in the same way, without knowing the reason and without the introduction of any change.

The apathy was caused when he simply decided to bring things to an end. Stopping the normal activities he had to some extent insisted upon allowed him to become aware to some degree of the subjective feelings that had been beneath all of his activities. He was face to face with them and with the natural end product if they were continued.

He thought you discouraged deep conversation unless there was some crisis that brought about a confrontation. He could not admit his fears to himself nor share them with you. He completely lacks the ability to discuss normal fears and worries in any kind of neighborhood contact—with girl friends. The fears finally became so charged that all normal discussion was out of the question. He used ideas of positive thinking to squash the fears down more securely. Their charge was so strong that he felt you were as frightened of them as he was, and therefore to discuss them would threaten you also.