“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Both of you however have a tendency to dig inward, and to concentrate upon negatives. Now if you were different kinds of people, you see, your own moods would fluctuate widely in the normal give and take with other individuals. You (to me) at your job are helped in that manner. Ruburt closed off even from you the expression of his fears; many quite normal fears, dangerous only because he considered them so.

An honest acceptance of the feelings is paramount. They must be accepted as real on their own terms. Then the way is cleared for the cycle to move. Resulting inhibited energy is then released. Now in the past Ruburt would brood over the feelings, leading him into a physical apathy. He was ashamed of the feelings. Both of you however still overemphasize the entire situation.

Many of the fears have been trivial but he would not discuss them. One worry then would automatically be associated with a pile of other buried worries, and an ordinary unpleasant stimuli could evoke the whole works. A gray day becomes therefore a symbol that the sunny inner self is clouded, and he feared he could not change himself any more than he could the weather.

Above all, the fears could not be discussed with you, particularly if they seemed trivial. He never wanted you to equate him with your mother (I laughed here), and felt that a display of unpleasant emotions would only get your scorn.

If I were telling this to someone else you would think it was excellent advice and wonder why it was not taken to heart. Ruburt needs somewhat more change within a definite framework than you do, but you also need to refresh your own energies. Concentration upon the problem to such an extent does not allow the inner self the freedom to help you solve it, and a condition arises where you expect the worst and bring it therefore about.

Ruburt became afraid that the thyroid condition would lead into erratic behavior, and after the Florida incident he slammed doors to expression down. Because he appeared so talkative, you did not recognize the point where he began to hide his fearful thought or feelings from you. This was during your illness when he felt they threatened you.

When he felt unwanted, this was also his reaction. Initially there would be no outward change of behavior except for a compensatory additional noisiness of faked gaiety and singing. For some time the organism could take this, and as situations changed the spontaneous self would once again emerge. With a changing physical situation necessitating agile manipulation, the physical stimulations came so quickly that the pattern did not have a chance to jell. It did not become a normal pattern of behavior, but one that was now and then adopted.

From that situation be could not or would not run, but in his mind he saw the two of you running free of all of them. He gave little expression to his feelings toward your mother, in a mad rush to get to the respectable and responsible attitude he thought he should have.

(I would say very important indeed.)

Methods mainly of finance having to do with the company itself and with the recession, and with which books they thought would make the quickest returns. Not necessarily the more stable long-run returns.