“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Above all, the fears could not be discussed with you, particularly if they seemed trivial. He never wanted you to equate him with your mother (I laughed here), and felt that a display of unpleasant emotions would only get your scorn.

The pattern had always included a strong tendency of withdrawal superimposed and enforced upon a very spontaneous self. As a child he closed off the expression of emotion from his mother out of fear, and when the fear element becomes strong as it did later for a different reason, with Walt, and much later for a far different reason with you, the pattern was reasserted.

When you were ill the incident rearoused his fears concerning his mother, you see. As he had watched her very mood, he watched yours, and for a short time he interpreted your actions in a very accusing light toward himself.

Now running away from problems, literally in space, had always been his answer to everything. One day he could run away from his mother, and he did. One day he could leave Walt, and he did. But he loved you deeply, and there was no place he could run to, nor from the problems presented by your parents.

Now he adjusted very well to these, but an inner portion of his self, you see, is thoroughly outraged, considering all parents enemies from whom one should and must legitimately run. Intellectually, he understood that changes had to be made in his attitude, and he tried to treat your family kindly, and consciously to make up to his mother by being nice to yours.

From that situation be could not or would not run, but in his mind he saw the two of you running free of all of them. He gave little expression to his feelings toward your mother, in a mad rush to get to the respectable and responsible attitude he thought he should have.

He adopted the symptoms partially out of example, both from his mother and from your own illness. He has made gains, but he had not made gains as far as fears were concerned at all. Some, with aggressions. He was not consciously aware enough of the fears, he had shoved them so far underground.