“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

An honest acceptance of the feelings is paramount. They must be accepted as real on their own terms. Then the way is cleared for the cycle to move. Resulting inhibited energy is then released. Now in the past Ruburt would brood over the feelings, leading him into a physical apathy. He was ashamed of the feelings. Both of you however still overemphasize the entire situation.

He does have attitudes, as I told him last evening (mentally), that you had some ten years ago, setting up so strongly the idea of responsibility and lack of lifetime (physical time to live, etc.). That spontaneity became severely hampered. The brooding also involves your present situation, the two of you in it, and the future.

Above all, the fears could not be discussed with you, particularly if they seemed trivial. He never wanted you to equate him with your mother (I laughed here), and felt that a display of unpleasant emotions would only get your scorn.

He felt then of course that erratic behavior was out of the question; and closing that door, he also closed the door largely to emotional expression. He watched his every word and action with you during your illness. The incident in Florida served to frighten him into that reaction.

These issues are all important, since he could not run in space, and did not, when the pattern of withdrawal began, express his resentment; he still turns off the radio when you come into the room, for fear the noise, which to him will be interpreted by you as aggressive noisy feelings, will annoy you.

Now. Together at least several times a week, for a month, read the sessions that Ruburt has on his clipboard. At least those portions outlined, together (underlined), as if you had not begun any of this before. Encourage Ruburt toward motion, and have him encourage himself the idea should be “I can do more, and more easily.”

Having to do with his condition—that he will not get better, for example. But all of the feelings mentioned tonight, and the unexpressed fears, add up to a formless anxiety that can give him a feeling of hopelessness, and that is extremely important.

The feeling then seems to be out of all proportion to whatever current event seems to have evoked it. The personality is then bewildered, feeling the weight of this as a pall. Reassurance should be given then that the fears can be expressed, and not judged intellectually. Often when Ruburt is alone the weight of these unexpressed fears is strongly upon him, then acting like a cloud that holds him down.

After the tour, to his way of thinking, there was nothing. He was picked up by the tour and then dropped back. He felt as if Prentice had forgotten him, and that Tam was not interested in his dream book. The visits for example had ceased. He missed the New York calls and the conversation.

Tam, for example, is simply in a different position now, with more to do. He is confident Ruburt will produce a good book, and while busy attempts to keep in touch with him. He has written Ruburt for example more than Ruburt has written to him. But with Ruburt’s mind, it had to be more an all or nothing affair.