“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Above all, the fears could not be discussed with you, particularly if they seemed trivial. He never wanted you to equate him with your mother (I laughed here), and felt that a display of unpleasant emotions would only get your scorn.

(I felt good when this session began, yet began to feel anger as it progressed. Part of this was probably defensive. I think also the anger partly stemmed from hearing the same things over again in some instances—that is, that we had made so little progress seemingly in dealing with vital points. But the expression of fears was very beneficial, we thought, and surprisingly this was new for both of us.

Ruburt became afraid that the thyroid condition would lead into erratic behavior, and after the Florida incident he slammed doors to expression down. Because he appeared so talkative, you did not recognize the point where he began to hide his fearful thought or feelings from you. This was during your illness when he felt they threatened you.

He felt then of course that erratic behavior was out of the question; and closing that door, he also closed the door largely to emotional expression. He watched his every word and action with you during your illness. The incident in Florida served to frighten him into that reaction.

When he felt unwanted, this was also his reaction. Initially there would be no outward change of behavior except for a compensatory additional noisiness of faked gaiety and singing. For some time the organism could take this, and as situations changed the spontaneous self would once again emerge. With a changing physical situation necessitating agile manipulation, the physical stimulations came so quickly that the pattern did not have a chance to jell. It did not become a normal pattern of behavior, but one that was now and then adopted.

You understand from what I have said that a strong reaction can be felt from a seemingly insignificant issue. Understand also however that the opposite also holds. An excellent suggestion or emotion taking root, even though trivial, can have a far-reaching beneficial effect. In that case however he expected from the tour much better results. (To publicize Jane’s The Seth Material.)

After the tour, to his way of thinking, there was nothing. He was picked up by the tour and then dropped back. He felt as if Prentice had forgotten him, and that Tam was not interested in his dream book. The visits for example had ceased. He missed the New York calls and the conversation.