“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Above all, the fears could not be discussed with you, particularly if they seemed trivial. He never wanted you to equate him with your mother (I laughed here), and felt that a display of unpleasant emotions would only get your scorn.

(Jane had become very frightened a couple of days ago to realize she was becoming quite apathetic. Her legs, the knees especially, had been poor. Yet at the same time we had learned some valuable things on our own, especially over the weekend. I was very anxious that we get all the help we could.

All of the sessions Ruburt has on his clipboard are important, and discuss different aspects that are pertinent. Those sessions followed, and the advice heeded, provide you with your answer.

(Also, I took exception to some statements made in the session this evening particularly that we concentrated too much upon the physical problems—granted that we created the problems, I could not understand how we were not supposed to pay any attention to the difficulties Jane had walking, etc, There was much more, and it’s not necessary to detail it all here.

Now he adjusted very well to these, but an inner portion of his self, you see, is thoroughly outraged, considering all parents enemies from whom one should and must legitimately run. Intellectually, he understood that changes had to be made in his attitude, and he tried to treat your family kindly, and consciously to make up to his mother by being nice to yours.

From that situation be could not or would not run, but in his mind he saw the two of you running free of all of them. He gave little expression to his feelings toward your mother, in a mad rush to get to the respectable and responsible attitude he thought he should have.

These issues are all important, since he could not run in space, and did not, when the pattern of withdrawal began, express his resentment; he still turns off the radio when you come into the room, for fear the noise, which to him will be interpreted by you as aggressive noisy feelings, will annoy you.

He adopted the symptoms partially out of example, both from his mother and from your own illness. He has made gains, but he had not made gains as far as fears were concerned at all. Some, with aggressions. He was not consciously aware enough of the fears, he had shoved them so far underground.

Having to do with his condition—that he will not get better, for example. But all of the feelings mentioned tonight, and the unexpressed fears, add up to a formless anxiety that can give him a feeling of hopelessness, and that is extremely important.

The feeling then seems to be out of all proportion to whatever current event seems to have evoked it. The personality is then bewildered, feeling the weight of this as a pall. Reassurance should be given then that the fears can be expressed, and not judged intellectually. Often when Ruburt is alone the weight of these unexpressed fears is strongly upon him, then acting like a cloud that holds him down.

Tam, for example, is simply in a different position now, with more to do. He is confident Ruburt will produce a good book, and while busy attempts to keep in touch with him. He has written Ruburt for example more than Ruburt has written to him. But with Ruburt’s mind, it had to be more an all or nothing affair.

(“All right. Thank you very much, Seth.”