“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Many of the fears have been trivial but he would not discuss them. One worry then would automatically be associated with a pile of other buried worries, and an ordinary unpleasant stimuli could evoke the whole works. A gray day becomes therefore a symbol that the sunny inner self is clouded, and he feared he could not change himself any more than he could the weather.

If I were telling this to someone else you would think it was excellent advice and wonder why it was not taken to heart. Ruburt needs somewhat more change within a definite framework than you do, but you also need to refresh your own energies. Concentration upon the problem to such an extent does not allow the inner self the freedom to help you solve it, and a condition arises where you expect the worst and bring it therefore about.

The simple measures of going out for example allow a breakup of stimuli, a freer give and take of emotional moods. The conscious mind is fascinated and the inner self free then to act constructively. Encouraging Ruburt to discuss his fears is important, but there is no one reason behind this. Consciousness is not that simple.

The pattern had always included a strong tendency of withdrawal superimposed and enforced upon a very spontaneous self. As a child he closed off the expression of emotion from his mother out of fear, and when the fear element becomes strong as it did later for a different reason, with Walt, and much later for a far different reason with you, the pattern was reasserted.

When he felt unwanted, this was also his reaction. Initially there would be no outward change of behavior except for a compensatory additional noisiness of faked gaiety and singing. For some time the organism could take this, and as situations changed the spontaneous self would once again emerge. With a changing physical situation necessitating agile manipulation, the physical stimulations came so quickly that the pattern did not have a chance to jell. It did not become a normal pattern of behavior, but one that was now and then adopted.

Now he adjusted very well to these, but an inner portion of his self, you see, is thoroughly outraged, considering all parents enemies from whom one should and must legitimately run. Intellectually, he understood that changes had to be made in his attitude, and he tried to treat your family kindly, and consciously to make up to his mother by being nice to yours.