“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The “lovely young woman” phrase incidentally is an excellent one for him to use. (Jane was so addressed last night in ESP class by one of her students, a male.) He did idealize you in the early days of your relationship, and then made the transition that he mentioned. He was ignoring and hiding his fears to protect you as well as himself.

He felt threatened however then when you voiced your own fears. Looking at him, you can see that the condition, the problem, is a repressed one —the physical symptoms make this obvious. The repression of fears was latched onto for the reasons given in a recent session—the habitual syndrome—do you recall?

There was a basis, therefore. Now in the beginning, now, you need a daily period together where Ruburt can quite freely be encouraged to discuss any fears that have been a part of that day. This will prevent a two-or-three-or-more-day buildup.

When he is in error he sees himself as an old hag, overly cautious with his psychic work, knocks himself over the head for not being freer about it, distrusts it, knocks himself over the head for distrusting it, fearful of emotional expression. Now you missed this fear of emotional expression on his part, because even with it he relates well usually with others. Particularly of course he was afraid of unpleasant emotional expression, or anger.

Many of these are perfectly normal fears. He felt it beneath him intellectually to speak of them to you, and felt that you would have no use for him, that you would think he was a cowering, spineless child rather than the independent brave spirit that he tried so hard to be for himself and you.

An example was the Sunday at your mother’s, when he was afraid of the cramp in the leg, which did not come in the way that he feared.

He was afraid not only of his own emotions, but terrified of his mother’s emotions. He feels free to express emotion in class because he is in control of the class, and can also justify this, the use of emotion as a teaching aid. He can also give expression to a very deep concern about his fellow man, safely, since the family relationship is not involved.

Now when he was doing disguised autobiographical novels he released his fears through his writing. When the writing changed he buried them as completely as possible. He also stopped writing what he thought of as pessimistic poetry, which had performed the same function, allowing for the expression of fearful emotions. He used some of our material as an excuse to further shove his fears beneath, overexaggerating certain remarks that I had made. You follow me here.

(Seth then explained he was referring to the days immediately following the deleted session of January 18, 1971, when Jane expressed a lot of her fears, etc.)