“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The “lovely young woman” phrase incidentally is an excellent one for him to use. (Jane was so addressed last night in ESP class by one of her students, a male.) He did idealize you in the early days of your relationship, and then made the transition that he mentioned. He was ignoring and hiding his fears to protect you as well as himself.

He felt threatened however then when you voiced your own fears. Looking at him, you can see that the condition, the problem, is a repressed one —the physical symptoms make this obvious. The repression of fears was latched onto for the reasons given in a recent session—the habitual syndrome—do you recall?

“I am a lovely young woman” is particularly good because it automatically identifies Ruburt with grace, agility and health. Too often he has identified himself with his symptoms. He has in his mind seen himself not as a woman who had certain symptoms, along with many excellent good points and abilities, but he has identified himself primarily at times with the symptoms alone. Hence the appalling “monster woman” image that sprang to his mind.

Now earlier he would have been so terrified that the image would not have become conscious. Instead it can now serve as an excellent learning point, and for both of you. The identification of self with symptoms alone is very dangerous. Always distorted, the symptoms themselves are a representation of certain distortions. They are not representations of the entire self, and should never be considered so.

Now let us look at this simply. He comes through as an extremely attractive, highly intelligent young woman, with strong psychic and creative abilities, unusual insight into the problems of others—as a writer, a psychic, and as “the mistress” of a delightful establishment.

He also comes through as a young woman with some problems, with a repressive tendency that is physically materialized, with dogmatic and somewhat rigid distorted ideas that have only lately really been understood by the personality. I want him to read that, and I want you to know how he thinks when he is in error.

When he is in error he sees himself as an old hag, overly cautious with his psychic work, knocks himself over the head for not being freer about it, distrusts it, knocks himself over the head for distrusting it, fearful of emotional expression. Now you missed this fear of emotional expression on his part, because even with it he relates well usually with others. Particularly of course he was afraid of unpleasant emotional expression, or anger.

He learned restraint in this direction with his mother, and all kinds of automatic muscular tensions were then learned to inhibit the expression of fear of anger. So at his worst he feels powerless before it, and there are energy blockages here particularly.

Many of these are perfectly normal fears. He felt it beneath him intellectually to speak of them to you, and felt that you would have no use for him, that you would think he was a cowering, spineless child rather than the independent brave spirit that he tried so hard to be for himself and you.

So in the beginning particularly you may be the one to take the initiative at times, for he may be reluctant, you see—a symptom of the habit. The release of the fears then allows the body to release the natural optimism and healthy emotions that are needed, and the expansion of activity and energy.

Ruburt has at times reacted in that manner, though to a less dramatic degree, when an echo of an old frightening physical pain is felt. He has largely learned however to avoid this, particularly since our session that the feeling he is repressing is the problem, and if that is allowed release the physical aspects will vanish.

An example was the Sunday at your mother’s, when he was afraid of the cramp in the leg, which did not come in the way that he feared.

Now. He did pick up negative suggestions regarding retracing. It only applies when a mental aspect of illness is not understood, and to the degree that it is not understood. When it does operate then at its own level it is therapeutic. Each time the body reacts less and less. It is like crying wolf.

The treatments in themselves are beneficial, but useless without the guides that you have. If you really do not want to get well, then no doctor or chiropractor can help you, for you will substitute symptoms. The treatments do serve as an aid however, but he should not expect (underlined) the retracing effects, for there is no reason why they should operate in his case.

The cold does have an effect upon muscles however. It goes unnoticed when you are leaving your muscles alone. (Half humorously.) Now he thinks he should answer the phone every time it rings. And answer the door every time anyone knocks. He thinks he is afraid to have people see him in poor shape, and so does not want to answer the door. Actually it is his state of mind. He does not want to see anyone, period, often at such times. He does not have to want to see people at all times.

Is he afraid of seeing people at those times? If so, why? For the symptoms are a blind in that respect.

Now in class you see he is expressive and expansive. He enjoys teaching. In class he is spontaneous. He is also thinking of others and how to help them, and he is definitely not concentrating upon his own symptoms.

He feels an inferior member of a family, but in a superior position as a teacher, and his fear of being anonymous in a group, or swept up by it, when he is not in control of it, results from these family feelings of a group, and fear of being swept along by emotion.

He was afraid not only of his own emotions, but terrified of his mother’s emotions. He feels free to express emotion in class because he is in control of the class, and can also justify this, the use of emotion as a teaching aid. He can also give expression to a very deep concern about his fellow man, safely, since the family relationship is not involved.

A consideration of his own feelings and attitudes in class will help him see what he does right then, and what negative thoughts and emotions are present at many other occasions. He acts to some degree also with positive aggressiveness in class. He is sure of himself. The positive aggression is important.

Great bursts of energy are available to him then, and he is not ambiguous about using it. Now that feeling of confidence is available to him at other times. He should try to remember the feeling and recapture it. He also on his own speaks loudly in class, and automatically accepts his own composure, status as teacher, and his abilities, without question.

He takes it for granted that he will be in good condition for class, regardless of how he has felt earlier, and the expectation is always correct. The lovely young woman image will also help fill him out.

Now when he was doing disguised autobiographical novels he released his fears through his writing. When the writing changed he buried them as completely as possible. He also stopped writing what he thought of as pessimistic poetry, which had performed the same function, allowing for the expression of fearful emotions. He used some of our material as an excuse to further shove his fears beneath, overexaggerating certain remarks that I had made. You follow me here.

(Seth then explained he was referring to the days immediately following the deleted session of January 18, 1971, when Jane expressed a lot of her fears, etc.)

He should deal with his feelings about going out. Why does he not want to? What is he afraid of?

(“Why doesn’t he want to go out?”)

On different occasions the answers are different. Now he must emotionally find this out for himself. When he feels the reluctance however he should try to discover why and not ignore it, stay home and cower, or force himself to go out, denying the feelings that he has hidden. Do you see the difference?

He should indeed go out more. I do not want positive suggestions just slipped on like bandages, leaving the fears unreleased or unrecognized. The positive suggestions are extremely important. Clearing the monster woman image will be of great help here. Do you have questions?

Then we did not get to dictation, but I hope that this will be as valuable. He is not having the menopause.