“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now give us time…. He felt that any success of his that was not matched by you pulled you down in your parents’ eyes, and was therefore part victory and part defeat. He did fear that you would become bitter if you did not succeed (as a painter), and he sometimes felt that you retreated to the studio away from him, as purposely your father retreated from your mother into the cellar or garage. He would rather have burned anything that you have rather than store it in your family’s house. Symbolically this threatened him. He mentioned it on several occasions, but you made a reasonable reply having to do with convenience, and so he brooded.

Now. Since your reaction when Rebellers was published, he feared that you would grow to hate him for any success, if you did not succeed, since his success he felt was largely at your expense—you bought him the time in which to work.

You would find something to be angry at, he felt, so he tried to succeed and not succeed. The answers given by your pendulum also apply to my book, and to some (underlined) of our missed sessions in general. While you vigorously upheld the sessions, he still felt that to some extent, again, their success would undermine you.

At the same time he projected his fears upon you, thinking that you loved him only because he was a writer. Then why were you not pleased with his success, you see?

(At the time Rebellers was published, I was jealous, but it took me some time to learn this. I made the breakthrough finally with a series of questions directed to my pendulum, as I had done this morning concerning Jane’s knee troubles. In fact, it was the memory of the success of that episode that led me to this morning’s session.)

He fears that you would find any real success of his highly distasteful. He fears that he might go hogwild with it. There is a connection here I have not quite discovered, in what I am about to say.

Walt turned him over to you only too gladly. He is afraid that if you launch him into success you may then leave him, wanting none of it.

Now. He felt that the trappings of success might be a real threat to your working time, and therefore to your ultimate success—that you would resent this beforehand, rather than, say, discuss it and so forth. That you would resent the lack of privacy involved, and blame him for it.

Now your own feelings toward success are highly ambiguous, and in the past neither of you really discussed them, so there was fertile ground for Ruburt to exaggerate some of your ideas and feelings.

(10:50. Truly, I felt appalled, almost overwhelmed. Many feelings came in rapid succession. Typing this up two days later, I note that the material is indeed charged as the feelings return to some degree. We’ve already discussed them to some extent, and believe we are making progress, etc.)