“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(We returned home on Monday after a heavy snowstorm in Pennsylvania, and I did not return to work until Thursday. This session is prefaced with my notes of two pendulum sessions I held with myself. The first on Tuesday, February 9 concerns my shaky hand and my father. The second on the morning of Wednesday, February 10 concerns Jane’s condition and my part in it, etc. It was very productive. Suffice it to say here that Jane’s own pendulum agreed with it in toto, and we spent a good deal of time discussing it. By suppertime Jane was getting some strong emotional reactions to parts of it. [Loren, incidentally, is my younger brother.]

When you were quiet at times, this reminded him of your father’s uncommunicative manner, and frightened him. If he reacted emotionally, this frightened him, because he was afraid you would interpret it as your mother’s reaction. He is furious that he is in such poor physical condition in front of her. He thinks that you were taken in by her for years. These sound like rather harmless attitudes, or normal enough.

Now. Since your reaction when Rebellers was published, he feared that you would grow to hate him for any success, if you did not succeed, since his success he felt was largely at your expense—you bought him the time in which to work.

If he succeeded he might lose your love, in other words. He closely watched your reaction after that. On a few occasions he found it negative early in the game, but any criticism later of his relationship with publishers was taken to be a symbol of an anger with him because of his books, period.

Now he picked up many of these reactions, again, from you when you were ill. You also inhibited your feelings, cut yourself off from Ruburt, retreated, and were negatively motivated. In a manner of speaking he is working out problems for both of you. You have learned through his behavior, and saved yourself some other steps, for example.