“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

In the past such behavior had led to an increased frenzied activity, mildly but not inordinately erratic. Such erratic behavior however he now felt out of the question, and the built-up energy from the repressed feelings had nowhere to go. He clamped down upon himself then more and more, fearing the built-up charge of repressions.

For some time, subjectively, he was in a highly ambiguous position. He felt he could expect no comfort from you, that he must face both your fears and his alone. Superstitiously he felt that in hiding fears about your parents he hid them for you both—shoved them under the psychological rug; but the rug became heavier and heavier.

Now give us time…. He felt that any success of his that was not matched by you pulled you down in your parents’ eyes, and was therefore part victory and part defeat. He did fear that you would become bitter if you did not succeed (as a painter), and he sometimes felt that you retreated to the studio away from him, as purposely your father retreated from your mother into the cellar or garage. He would rather have burned anything that you have rather than store it in your family’s house. Symbolically this threatened him. He mentioned it on several occasions, but you made a reasonable reply having to do with convenience, and so he brooded.

Now. Since your reaction when Rebellers was published, he feared that you would grow to hate him for any success, if you did not succeed, since his success he felt was largely at your expense—you bought him the time in which to work.

At the same time he projected his fears upon you, thinking that you loved him only because he was a writer. Then why were you not pleased with his success, you see?

He fears that you would find any real success of his highly distasteful. He fears that he might go hogwild with it. There is a connection here I have not quite discovered, in what I am about to say.

Clear emotional communication on your part will be most valuable here. On several occasions on your tour there was a name confusion, and this upset him for fear you would be hurt and put down. Do you follow me?

Releasing fears will allow new inspiration and optimism to emerge, to battle against any lingering negative aspects however. He cannot have too many assurances from you, he is so thirsty for them.

Often he did not feel your support. I am not saying you did not support him. Remember also that he exaggerated his fears, and felt that they would serve to drive you from him. Reading his book is a great help. He felt you did not have any deep interest in it, and that symbolically you were rejecting it.

He was not emotionally aware of this. The fear projections, repressed, telepathically attract like projections, and inhibit other ones. He had tuned himself toward fears, and these are what he picked up most frequently. You did not until recently make a practice of communicating feelings to each other on any consistent basis. This alone makes your changed attitudes clear. He does need encouragement now. The remark “You are doing this to yourself” is interpreted by him as an accusation. The more pliant bodily response in your intimate affairs shows that he is trusting you again as he had not done for some time to that degree.

You are on the right track. Beside the release of fears the discussion of future plans is also important. If you have no questions I will end the session…. My prognosis is good.

The fears, written down, are encouraging. You confront them and they appall you. But they are far more appalling hidden.