“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You avoided meaningful (underlined) emotional encounters with each other often as a result. Neither of your ideas were tempered by the ideas of the other, therefore, nor were your feelings about these life problems. The rich emotional contact and encounters that are possible between you became clogged by inhibition and fears. Because of his particular nature, these agreements on your part to avoid such issues, and the resulting lack of positive encounters, was more damaging to Ruburt.

Ruburt was correct then in those statements he made last evening, having to do with the balance of routine and spontaneity, for his nature does need both. So does yours, incidentally, though this is not nearly as apparent. You were not living clearly in the sensual, physical world, in that large amounts of energy were being used to repress physical communication.

I am speaking now of you both. You did not communicate your concern to each other, therefore you did not communicate your hopes. You, now, did for some time get into the habit of nonsmiling, which led Ruburt to further reinforce his own negative ideas of what you are thinking. But all of the symptoms now represent aspects of your lives that you have not faced in a normal above-the-board fashion. It is not so much that you have not solved them, as that you let communication about them gradually fade away.

Ruburt can be far more helpful than you realize, in helping with those solutions. Your lives in many ways did not satisfy you, but rather than accept this fact clearly and cast about for what changes or solutions there might be, both of you tried to keep everything precisely (underlined) as it was, make no changes, and live with the dissatisfaction that became a constant inner problem.

Such a discussion also serves to force Ruburt to say what he thinks, clarifies his own feelings, for he is not used to vocalizing them. Doing this alone can help him understand them more clearly.

The breaking of schedules is extremely beneficial for you also and would have made your outside job less burdensome in the past. It serves to give you a feeling of freedom, and open the way to unstructured emotional release. This, with the information given in the last session, if followed, can help you greatly, and clear Ruburt’s symptoms; but not if the advice is not followed.

The sexual aspect is but a symptom of this. You were both afraid in varying degrees of emotional contact of a strong nature. In the early days or years of your relationship these patterns were submerged largely. Your tendency to avoid such encounters was much more apparent then than Ruburt’s.

Now Ruburt took this out physically, and blocked emotions, not from the distant past but a current life-habit, now shows these blocked emotions. Again, he suffers more from the lack of rich emotional interaction than you; he is less able to take it.

Whenever you begin to interact, often the negative emotions show first. Each of you become frightened, and clap a lid down upon the whole affair. Ruburt shows some improvement, and then goes back until you try again.

Ruburt is, again, far better able to help you in that regard than either of you realize. The basic disappointment with each other colors your perspective when you consider the Artistic Card aspect.

Now I am telling you this: Ruburt is emotionally deprived, and that is what his physical body does when it knows it. He managed to go ahead creatively despite this, though at great difficulty.

Your symptoms lay in a different area, and I am sure you know where. They show up in your creative work, for otherwise you would have been far freer. Your creative work therefore shows the emotional depriving aspects. You have not been able to let yourself go fully in them, as Ruburt has not been able to go freely with his body.

Now, this is the basic problem. The basic reasons for both Ruburt’s symptoms and the holdback in your own work, and the answer to both lies in learning how to release yourselves to yourselves, to let your own emotional natures relate to each other. You must get over the hump therefore of being afraid of your emotions, both of you.

The same feeling often pervades your own attitude when you think of Ruburt’s symptoms. You think you are being realistic. You are instead giving into old patterns of emotion, and you can break this habit. You are afraid then not of the negative emotional release—which meant, to the degree mentioned, safety—but of the joyful loving emotions. Part of this had to do with your father’s disappointment in business, and his (underlined) reaction to it.

Now Ruburt inhibited the negative emotions, so-called, first of all because of his own background—the fear of arguments, of hurting someone, as explained clearly in other sessions. The end result however on both of your parts was the inhibition of emotional expression in your relationship, precisely in those most important areas where it was most needed.

You must forget the ideas you have about each other, and look at the living emotional selves upon which you have built and projected. Ruburt’s health, your work, the Artistic Card aspect and all others will fall into line.