“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Reasons have been given to you in the past, but you can break the habit now by expressing your emotions to each other, and so indeed you must. One of the deep disappointments that neither of you have faced is the difference between what your personal relationship is and what it could and should be.

Your relationship is a good one, compared to most an excellent one, but you know your inner potentials, and the potentials of that relationship, and how much you have to some degree failed it. Obviously you have not entirely failed by any means, and you have always maintained an underground basis of loyalty and love; but you are each deeply disappointed with that relationship compared to what you know it can be.

The sexual aspect is but a symptom of this. You were both afraid in varying degrees of emotional contact of a strong nature. In the early days or years of your relationship these patterns were submerged largely. Your tendency to avoid such encounters was much more apparent then than Ruburt’s.

Your relationship and your lives in general, you see, follow certain definite patterns set by you. Your work and your relationship are interwoven. You have not allowed yourselves the leeway, or the excuses either, that people do with families or a large number of interests. If you do not find emotional satisfaction with each other you do not find it, in other words. The whole problem however involves your work also, and solving one problem solves the other. Finding release in one gives you release in the other, and both of you chose therefore a life situation and framework in which precisely those problems you have tired to ignore should serve as challenges and impetuses.

Now, that disappointment with your relationship is even more pertinent than your individual and joint feelings about Artistic, and your life in that regard. That aspect of your life would simply be another challenge for the two of you to face together if you admitted this deeper disappointment and did something about it.

Now. In your relationship you inhibited the expression of joyful and loving emotions first. You were not afraid as much of negative emotions, briefly, because in your family your father found safety in negative emotions. By the denial of hope and the inhibition of joyful emotions he tried to protect himself against disappointment or defeat.

Now Ruburt inhibited the negative emotions, so-called, first of all because of his own background—the fear of arguments, of hurting someone, as explained clearly in other sessions. The end result however on both of your parts was the inhibition of emotional expression in your relationship, precisely in those most important areas where it was most needed.

You related in terms of your work, or our work, or as a couple with others. Now resentment against each other grew. Many would be far more than satisfied with your relationship, but you set yourselves high goals, both in your work and in your personal lifelong relationship with each other, and you suffer when you are not true to this.

You do not look at each other freshly. You cannot examine your feelings, though you think you do, because you do not honestly come to grips with them nor express them. As far as the relationship is concerned you face each other distantly. Out of the potential relationship interactions are possible that will make great changes in your lives, your individual work, and our work.

You are both indeed lucky, for you do have a firm basis from which to work. It is not that you do not have an “ideal” in quotes relationship; but you had lost that feeling of the potentials within you. Your relationship fell so far below those standards, and you are so closely bound together, that his would show in all areas.