“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Because now you fear that the situation may become a way of life, you are finally both willing to take more direct action. To some degree you have both been avoiding each other. You made a pact not to discuss troublesome, frightening or critical problems, particularly those which did not seem to have an immediate solution.

You avoided meaningful (underlined) emotional encounters with each other often as a result. Neither of your ideas were tempered by the ideas of the other, therefore, nor were your feelings about these life problems. The rich emotional contact and encounters that are possible between you became clogged by inhibition and fears. Because of his particular nature, these agreements on your part to avoid such issues, and the resulting lack of positive encounters, was more damaging to Ruburt.

You went to some good degree toward breaking some of those patterns last evening and today, but the issues of your lives should be clearly discussed and not hidden. The problems were being taken out of the physical realm, where you could indeed handle them, into a mental realm, where you tried to hide them.

Ruburt can be far more helpful than you realize, in helping with those solutions. Your lives in many ways did not satisfy you, but rather than accept this fact clearly and cast about for what changes or solutions there might be, both of you tried to keep everything precisely (underlined) as it was, make no changes, and live with the dissatisfaction that became a constant inner problem.

It naturally reflected all of your own attitudes, the similar and various ways the both of you have of facing reality. So when you discuss it the problem becomes an excellent focal point, showing you how you interact, how you interpret and misinterpret each other, and brings out quite clearly any basic conflicts that you have.

In other words, such discussions are excellent methods of showing you how you interrelate. They provide miniature yet perfect therapeutic sessions, beside having the advantage of bringing the initial problems to the front where you can deal with them together. Before you nursed these separately, and felt, both of you, overburdened at times, and misunderstood by the other.

As repressions built up then emotional encounters did seem to be unpleasant, for only when one of you became thoroughly uncomfortable and desperate did you really open emotionally to the other. It is a testament to the strength of your love and mutual commitment that you did not run into far greater problems.

Your relationship and your lives in general, you see, follow certain definite patterns set by you. Your work and your relationship are interwoven. You have not allowed yourselves the leeway, or the excuses either, that people do with families or a large number of interests. If you do not find emotional satisfaction with each other you do not find it, in other words. The whole problem however involves your work also, and solving one problem solves the other. Finding release in one gives you release in the other, and both of you chose therefore a life situation and framework in which precisely those problems you have tired to ignore should serve as challenges and impetuses.

Now, this is the basic problem. The basic reasons for both Ruburt’s symptoms and the holdback in your own work, and the answer to both lies in learning how to release yourselves to yourselves, to let your own emotional natures relate to each other. You must get over the hump therefore of being afraid of your emotions, both of you.