“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

I am speaking now of you both. You did not communicate your concern to each other, therefore you did not communicate your hopes. You, now, did for some time get into the habit of nonsmiling, which led Ruburt to further reinforce his own negative ideas of what you are thinking. But all of the symptoms now represent aspects of your lives that you have not faced in a normal above-the-board fashion. It is not so much that you have not solved them, as that you let communication about them gradually fade away.

Whenever you begin to interact, often the negative emotions show first. Each of you become frightened, and clap a lid down upon the whole affair. Ruburt shows some improvement, and then goes back until you try again.

Now. In your relationship you inhibited the expression of joyful and loving emotions first. You were not afraid as much of negative emotions, briefly, because in your family your father found safety in negative emotions. By the denial of hope and the inhibition of joyful emotions he tried to protect himself against disappointment or defeat.

The same feeling often pervades your own attitude when you think of Ruburt’s symptoms. You think you are being realistic. You are instead giving into old patterns of emotion, and you can break this habit. You are afraid then not of the negative emotional release—which meant, to the degree mentioned, safety—but of the joyful loving emotions. Part of this had to do with your father’s disappointment in business, and his (underlined) reaction to it.

Now Ruburt inhibited the negative emotions, so-called, first of all because of his own background—the fear of arguments, of hurting someone, as explained clearly in other sessions. The end result however on both of your parts was the inhibition of emotional expression in your relationship, precisely in those most important areas where it was most needed.

Gradually he inhibited the love and joy, and you the negatives until your lives lacked those natural rises and falls in feelings in tone. You set yourself against your feelings, allowing them release in certain areas only under certain conditions, and in largely impersonal as opposed to intimate areas.