“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You avoided meaningful (underlined) emotional encounters with each other often as a result. Neither of your ideas were tempered by the ideas of the other, therefore, nor were your feelings about these life problems. The rich emotional contact and encounters that are possible between you became clogged by inhibition and fears. Because of his particular nature, these agreements on your part to avoid such issues, and the resulting lack of positive encounters, was more damaging to Ruburt.

Ruburt was correct then in those statements he made last evening, having to do with the balance of routine and spontaneity, for his nature does need both. So does yours, incidentally, though this is not nearly as apparent. You were not living clearly in the sensual, physical world, in that large amounts of energy were being used to repress physical communication.

I am speaking now of you both. You did not communicate your concern to each other, therefore you did not communicate your hopes. You, now, did for some time get into the habit of nonsmiling, which led Ruburt to further reinforce his own negative ideas of what you are thinking. But all of the symptoms now represent aspects of your lives that you have not faced in a normal above-the-board fashion. It is not so much that you have not solved them, as that you let communication about them gradually fade away.

Such a discussion also serves to force Ruburt to say what he thinks, clarifies his own feelings, for he is not used to vocalizing them. Doing this alone can help him understand them more clearly.

Now I am telling you this: Ruburt is emotionally deprived, and that is what his physical body does when it knows it. He managed to go ahead creatively despite this, though at great difficulty.

Your symptoms lay in a different area, and I am sure you know where. They show up in your creative work, for otherwise you would have been far freer. Your creative work therefore shows the emotional depriving aspects. You have not been able to let yourself go fully in them, as Ruburt has not been able to go freely with his body.

The same feeling often pervades your own attitude when you think of Ruburt’s symptoms. You think you are being realistic. You are instead giving into old patterns of emotion, and you can break this habit. You are afraid then not of the negative emotional release—which meant, to the degree mentioned, safety—but of the joyful loving emotions. Part of this had to do with your father’s disappointment in business, and his (underlined) reaction to it.

Now Ruburt inhibited the negative emotions, so-called, first of all because of his own background—the fear of arguments, of hurting someone, as explained clearly in other sessions. The end result however on both of your parts was the inhibition of emotional expression in your relationship, precisely in those most important areas where it was most needed.

You are both indeed lucky, for you do have a firm basis from which to work. It is not that you do not have an “ideal” in quotes relationship; but you had lost that feeling of the potentials within you. Your relationship fell so far below those standards, and you are so closely bound together, that his would show in all areas.